Channel Surfing: Adam Scott Heads to "Parks and Rec," "Rome" Heads to Big Screen, "Smallville Renewed," "Lost" Returnee, and More

Welcome to your Friday morning television briefing.

Los Angeles Times' Denise Martin is reporting that Party Down star Adam Scott is heading to NBC's Parks and Recreation, where he is slated to turn up in the final episodes of the season... alongside Rob Lowe, in fact. [Editor: could their sudden appearances in Pawnee be linked?] Scott, who will serve as as a series regular for Parks' third season, has also signed a first-look deal with NBC and Universal Media Studios, under which he will develop new series projects. Parks and Recreation co-creator Mike Schur described Scott as "brilliant and funny -- and he's funny in a lot of different ways. There just aren't that many people with a comedic range that spans Step Brothers to Party Down." As for Party Down fans worried that this would mean the end of Henry Pollard, Martin reports that "Scott said he'd be open to coming back to reprise his role should "Party Down" be renewed." (Los Angeles Times' Show Tracker)

[Editor: Variety, meanwhile, reports that Scott would appear in up to three episodes of Party Down if it is renewed for a third season, per his deal with Starz.]

Good news for fans of HBO's much-missed period drama Rome. Entertainment Weekly's Lynette Rice is reporting that a feature film sequel to Rome is finally in development and creator Bruno Heller--who went on to create CBS' The Mentalist--has finished a script for Morning Light Productions, which will finance the film, set in Germany four years after the events of the HBO series. Rice reports that Kevin McKidd and Ray Stevenson will reprise their roles as Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo in the feature film... which could be difficult as the end of Rome seemed to depict the death of McKidd's Vorenus. "The next step for Morning Light is to find a director and a studio, since HBO Films won’t be involved," writes Rice. (Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood Insider)

The CW has renewed superhero drama Smallville, picking up the Warner Bros. Television-produced drama series for a tenth season. Move comes after the netlet previously picked up The Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, 90210, Supernatural, and Top Model for the 2010-11 season. (via press release)

SPOILER! Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is reporting that Michelle Rodriguez will reprise her role as Ana-Lucia on ABC's Lost later this season, appearing in at least one episode. Rodriguez--most recently seen in Avatar--was last seen in Season Five, when she appeared as a ghostly visitor to Hurley. "There’s no word where or exactly when Ana-Lucia will resurface this time around," writes Ausiello, "but, come on, this has 'flash-sideways cameo!' written all over it!" (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Chuck fans had better keep tuning in to the NBC action-comedy, following comments made by the Peacock's Angela Bromstad, when asked by The Hollywood Reporter about Chuck's shot at a fourth season renewal. Despite saying that the series' performance on Mondays was a "pleasant surprise," Bromstad went on to say that Chuck's likelihood of being renewed depended on ratings. "It's got to maintain," said Bromstad, "and it depends on development." In other words: keep buying those Subway sandwiches and keep tuning in... (Hollywood Reporter's The Live Feed)

[Editor: meanwhile, Bromstad said she was "hopeful" that Community would return for a second season, though wouldn't confirm or deny that it would or wouldn't.]

E! Online's Kristin Dos Santos has a rundown of what was revealed at last night's Paley Festival panel for Showtime's Dexter, an event which she moderated and which dealt heavily with the reveals of the Season Four finale and what lies ahead for Dexter and Co. next season. (E! Online's Watch with Kristin)

Scott Caan (Ocean's Eleven) has been cast as a guest star in CBS cop drama pilot Hawaii Five-O, the remake of the classic television series. Caan will play Danny "Danno" Williams in the CBS Studios-produced pilot, which hails from executive producers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Peter Lenkov. Caan's role is being considered a guest starring role for the pilot, due to his commitments to HBO's Entourage; should Hawaii Five-O be picked up to pilot, he'll be bumped to series regular. (Hollywood Reporter)

NBC has confirmed that the 62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards will air live coast-to-coast this year on August 29th. Move marks the first time in over 30 years that the Emmys will air live across the country (the last time was in 1976). (Broadcasting & Cable)

Pilot casting update: Jeri Ryan (Leverage) has joined the cast of ABC drama pilot Body of Evidence; Nate Corddry (The Pacific), Jonathan Sadowski (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles), Dan Bakkedahl, and P.J. Byrne have been cast in NBC comedy pilot presentation Our Show; Robert Patrick (The Unit) has come aboard Rand Ravich's ABC drama pilot Edgar Floats, where he will play a bond bailsman who is the ex-father-in-law of the titular character, a bountu hunter; Allison Miller (Kings) has scored one of the leads in CW drama pilot Betwixt; Alan Ruck (Drive) and Scarlett Johnson (EastEnders) have joined the cast of CW's untitled Amy Sherman Palladino Wyoming project; Matt Lauria (Friday Night Lights) and Devin Kelley (Tease) have come joined the cast of FOX cop drama pilot Ridealong. (Hollywood Reporter)

TV Guide Magazine's Will Keck is reporting that producers of ABC's Modern Family are currently looking to cast the Tuckers, the parents of Eric Stonestreet's Cameron. Stonestreet told Keck that Kathy Bates was originally considered for the role but she's no longer in the running due to her recent turn on NBC's The Office. Stonestreet, however, has one hell of a suggestion for who should play his mother: former Designing Women star Delta Burke. “We like that idea," said Modern Family co-creator Steve Levitan. "We think that could be good.” (TV Guide Magazine)

Tom Bergeron, Fred Willard, French Stewart, Yeardley Smith, and Bill Bellamy have signed on to guest star in the April 26th episode of ABC's Castle, which offers a satirical look at NBC's latenight situation with Conan and Leno, according to Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello. "Sources confirm to me exclusively that Dancing with the Stars emcee Tom Bergeron has signed on to guest as Bobby Mann, a late-night talk show host who gets permanently shut up by... Well, the prime suspect is his would-be successor, a rival chatterbox (played by Bill Bellamy) who’s long coveted the victim’s timeslot," writes Ausiello. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Strictly Ice Dancing is heading to the US. ABC is developing an untitled US adaptation of the BBC Worldwide-produced reality series will feature celebrities training with ice skating professionals and then performing on ice and which will air as a six-week series likely between cycles of Dancing with the Stars. Project shouldn't be confused with FOX's short-lived 2006 effort, Skating With Celebrities. (Variety)

Over at NBC, the Peacock unveiled its summer programming--or at least parts of it--with America's Got Talent returning Tuesdays and Wednesdays, beginning June 1st and Last Comic Standing returning on June 7th. International acquisition Persons Unknown will air Mondays at 10 pm, beginning the same night, while long-delayed comedy 100 Questions will launch Thursday, May 27th. (The Wrap's TVMoJoe)

Martha Stewart and Mark Burnett are shopping eight-episode reality series Help Me, Martha, which will feature Stewart and a team of experts "help the show's subjects with everything from wedding near-distasters to planning last-minute parties," to network buyers. (Variety)

HBO is said to be developing an untitled telepic based on Andrew Sorkin's nonfiction book "Too Big to Fail," about the 2008 economic meltdown. Project will be written by Peter Gould (Breaking Bad) and may also use material derived from an upcoming book by Joe Nocera and Bethany McClean as well. (Hollywood Reporter)

Comedy Central has promoted David Bernath to EVP, where he will oversee program strategy and multiplatform programming. He reports to Michele Ganeless. (Variety)

Stay tuned.

Channel Surfing: Freddie Prinze Jr. Dons Cape for "No Heroics," Bloodgood Subs in for Esposito, Sherry Stringfield Gets "Back," "Rome," and More

Welcome to your Thursday morning television briefing.

Freddie Prinze Jr. (Freddie) has been cast as one of the leads in ABC's US remake of UK comedy series No Heroics. In the ABC Studios-produced pilot, Prinze will play Bradley (a.k.a. Ultimatum), a cocky celebrity superhero with no shortage of women, arrogance, or grade-school quips. He joins the already cast Paul Campbell, Eliza Coupe, and Arielle Kebbel. (Hollywood Reporter)

Just days after announcing that Samantha Who? star Jennifer Esposito had been cast in USA's Burn Notice, the actress has dropped out of the role. No reason was given for Esposito's departure from the series, where she was to have played Miami police detective Michelle Paxon, a new adversary for Jeffrey Donovan's Michael Weston. Stepping in to replace Esposito: Moon Bloodgood (Journeyman), who will assume the role of Michelle. Production on Burn Notice's third season is currently underway. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Sherry Stringfield (ER) has been cast opposite Skeet Ulrich in the CBS drama pilot Back, where she will play Cheryl, the former wife of Ulrich's Richard, a man reported missing after 9/11 who suddenly returns home and has to reconnect with his family. For Cheryl, Richard's homecoming is fraught with complication as she is remarried to Tom, a firefighter. (Hollywood Reporter)

Former Rome star Ray Stevenson says that a feature film based on the HBO series is currently being developed and could shoot as early as six months from now, with the script being written by Rome creator Bruno Heller (The Mentalist). "The script is in full development," said Stevenson. As you are probably aware, this is a pretty strange process. We could go into production in a year, or it could be as quick as six months. Who knows? It will happen. At least it is no longer a rumor. From what I have heard, they are nearing the end of script development. We shall see. We shall see." (Movieweb)

In other TV-to-feature film news, Dan Shotz, the co-executive producer of CBS' Jericho says that a feature adaptation of that series is also in development. "It's not just wishful thinking," said Shotz. "We've ... been developing a feature to hopefully make, because we would love to. I mean, ... Jericho is so built in a way, ... especially where we left off season two, to create a feature. So our hope is to launch this comic-book series and then, with the development at the same time of the feature, hopefully get that launched as well." (SCI FI Wire)

CBS has renewed The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men for two and three additional season, respectively. (Televisionary)

Pilot casting alert: Eric McCormack (Trust Me) has been cast in ABC's untitled multi-camera comedy from writer/executive producer Tad Quill. Also cast in the pilot: Reno Wilson (Blind Justice), Jolie Jenkins (Desperate Housewives), and Constance Zimmer (Entourage). McCormack will play Dean, a heart surgeon whose wife (Jenkins) has just had a baby, while Wilson will play Seth, a contractor with an empty nest. Zimmer will play Seth's wife. For McCormack, the pilot is in second position to his TNT drama series Trust Me, which is not expected to return. (Hollywood Reporter)

Elsewhere, Lindsay Sloane (Help Me Help You), Mary Elizabeth Ellis (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), and Charlie Finn (Help Me Help You) have been cast in ABC comedy pilot Pulling, a US remake of the British comedy series, while Holly Robinson Peete (Love Inc.) and Josh Braaten (The Ex List) will star opposite Lauren Graham in ABC comedy pilot The Bridget Show. (Hollywood Reporter)

Heather Locklear has turned down an offer to star in CW's revival of Melrose Place. (Televisionary)

NBC has ordered eight-episodes of reality competition series The Sing Off, in which a cappella groups will face off against one another for a Sony Music recording contract. Series, from Outlaw Prods. and Sony Pictures Television, will be executive produced by Joel Gallen. NBC/Universal Media Studios' Paul Telegdy called The Sing Off "a fantastic feel-good series." No airdate has been announced. (Variety)

One guest star too many? Clay Aiken is slated to appear on the May 14th season finale of NBC's 30 Rock. (TV Week)

SCI FI Wire talks to Caprica star Esai Morales about the Battlestar Galactica prequel series. "I think he's the moral spine [of the story]," said Morales of his character, Joseph Adama. "He's somebody who came from the wrong side of the tracks, ... or the galaxy, or solar system, so to speak. They're from a planet that's more oppressed. He and his brother came from Tauron and establish their roots here, but they're still a minority. There are still ethnic tensions. So I'm a [civil liberties] lawyer who's trying to work on the right side of the tracks, and my brother is a gangster. It's like a Rich Man, Poor Man issue meets The Godfather meets Brave New World." (SCI FI Wire)

"We are all Cylons. And every one of us is a Colonial." Speaking of Battlestar Galactica, The Washington Post has a fantastic story about the series' recent appearance at the UN, where the cast and creators discussed issues like human rights, torture, and security issues. "Suddenly we are presented with this false dichotomy of security versus human rights," said Craig Mokhiber, deputy director of the New York branch of the U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights. "That slippery slope shows up so much in the show, and so much in real life." (Washington Post)

HBO has acquired the rights to eight-episode autobiographical documentary series The Neistat Brothers, which follows filmmaker siblings Casey and Van Neistat. All of the episodes were shot on consumer-grade cameras and edited by the Neistats using Apple's iMovie. HBO has yet to announce an airdate for the project, executive produced by Tom Scott. (Variety)

The New York Times' Brian Stelter takes a look at pay cabler Starz, which is looking to stand out from among the glut of movie channels by broadening its original series offerings, which include Rob Thomas' comedy Party Down, Crash, and Head Cases, as it looks to build a new identity for itself. "We’re the new guys on the block, even though we’re 15 years old," said Bill Myers, president of Starz Entertainment. (New York Times)

Suspense drama series Harper's Island, launching in the US next month on CBS, has been acquired by BBC Three, which plans to air the series later this year. "This is truly exciting event television," said BBC Three's Sue Deeks, Head of Series, BBC Programme Acquisition, "a suspenseful, contemporary take on the classic murder mystery with more than a dash of horror – think Agatha Christie meets Scream and you will get the idea!" (BBC)

VH1 has revived reality staple Behind the Music, ordering ten episodes that will air later this year. So far the network has signed Lil Wayne and Scott Weiland to appear in installments. "It felt like the time is right," said Jeff Olde, EVP of original programming. "There's all sorts of new artists on the scene who have emerged and have these great stories. And there's other artists that we always wanted to do the first time around." (Hollywood Reporter)

USA has promoted Jeff Wachtel to president of original series. As EVP of original programming, Wachtel helped launch such series as The 4400, Monk, and Burn Notice. "As head of original programming, Jeff’s leadership has inspired the team responsible for one of the most successful slates in all of television," said Bonnie Hammer, president of NBC Universal Cable Entertainment and Universal Cable Productions. "His creative intellect, impeccable taste and production savvy are among the best in the business, and we look forward to having his stamp of originality on all future successes here at USA." (TV Week)

National Geographic has renewed Dog Whisperer for a sixth season, ordering 30 episodes that will air later this year. (Hollywood Reporter)

Stay tuned.

Channel Surfing: Heller Wants to Build "Rome" Feature Film, Pilots Making a Comeback, Buscemi and Macdonald Head to "Boardwalk Empire," and More

Welcome to your Monday morning television briefing. I hope everyone had a pleasant Thanksgiving weekend (I'm still full from two Thanksgiving dinners' worth of turkey and all the trimmings) and is at least somewhat happy to be back at work today.

Rome creator Bruno Heller--who happens to also be the creator of this season's only certifiable network ratings hit, The Mentalist--has expressed interest in producing a feature film version of Rome. "There is talk of doing a movie version," said Heller. "It's moving along. It's not there until it is there. I would love to round that show off."

HBO quietly admitted recently that it was likely a mistake that they canceled the series before its well-received second season. Meanwhile, Heller says that he had a road map for five seasons of the series: "I discovered halfway through writing the second season the show was going to end," Heller said. "The second was going to end with death of Brutus. Third and fourth season would be set in Egypt. Fifth was going to be the rise of the messiah in Palestine. But because we got the heads-up that the second season would be it, I telescoped the third and fourth season into the second one, which accounts for the blazing speed we go through history near the end. There's certainly more than enough history to go around." (Hollywood Reporter)

Filming has begun in Botswana on the six-part drama series The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency for HBO, BBC One, and the Weinstein Company. Series, based on the best-selling novels of Alexander McCall-Smith and written by the late Anthony Minghella, will follow the story of Precious Ramotswe, the owner of an all-female detective agency in Botswana. BBC One is expected to launch the series in Winter 2009; it aired a two-hour backdoor pilot last spring. (BBC)

NBC's Lipstick Jungle hasn't been 100 percent canceled, according to The New York Times, which says that NBC has shifted the female drama to Friday nights in an effort to see if it can attract a live audience on that night on the four original episodes that NBC will air through January. Lipstick Jungle currently sees a huge boost in DVR numbers but needs to quickly attract a higher overall audience if it has any chance of staying alive. As for what to expect from the four remaining installments: "Nico will continue to have to deal with the baby her husband left behind; Ms. Price’s character, an established fashion designer, will weigh whether to pose nude for a magazine to draw attention to her career; and one character — the writers won’t identify which one — will experience a money crisis." (The New York Times)

Steve Buscemi (The Sopranos) and Kelly Macdonald (State of Play) are in talks to join the cast of Martin Scorsese's HBO drama pilot Boardwalk Empire, about the 1920s origin of Atlantic City, New Jersey. Buscemi would play Nuck Johnson, a criminal who runs a liquor distribution racket; Macdonald would play Margaret, a cunning Irish immigrant who married the wrong man in order to escape her parents' house. (Hollywood Reporter)

Lost has thrown a sheep at you. 'Nuff said. (Zap2it)

This past season's experiment into ordering pilot-free series is now looked on as rather a large mistake, following the poor performance of those very same series, including My Own Worst Enemy and Crusoe at NBC, and the need to retool other series that have yet to air, including FOX's Dollhouse from Joss Whedon and The Philanthropist at NBC. In fact, pilots seem to be making a comeback. "The lesson learned from the last year is that going straight to series is a tool to be used, but not the only tool to be used," said NBC co-chair Marc Graboff. "There's no blanket rule that covers every situation." Ahem. Even when faced with My Own Worst Enemy (which was shot, recast, and retooled before crashing and burning upon launch), Graboff contends that NBC "made all the pilots we wanted to make." (Hollywood Reporter)

BBC One is launching an updated version of classic sci-fi series The Day of the Triffids, based on John Wyndham's 1951 novel. The new Triffids will be written by Patrick Harbinson (Law & Order) and will tell the story of Earth's inhabitants in 2011, who have used up all of the planet's fossil fuel reserves and uncover a new crop called the Triffid, a fuel that seems to have a life of its own. Project, slated to air in 2009, comes from Power and executive producers Justin Bodle and Julie Gardner. (BBC)

Doctor Who's David Tennant talks Time Lord, playing Hamlet at Stratford-upon-Avon, and nerves. (The Daily Telegraph)

Meanwhile, David Morrissey (State of Play) would "jump at the chance" to play the Eleventh Doctor, following Tennant's departure from Doctor Who in 2010. "I've had a great time," said Morrissey, who appears in this month's Doctor Who Christmas Special. "If they asked me back I'd jump at it; I think it's a great character and I've loved every minute." (Digital Spy)

And speaking of time travel, The New Statesman's Laurence Marks chats with Doctor Who writer Steven Moffat, Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes co-creator Ashley Pharoah, and Goodnight Sweetheart writer Maurice Gran about time travel. (BAFTA)

Khandi Alexander will return to CBS' CSI: Miami, where she will reprise her role as Alexx Woods, in at least one episode to air in early 2009. Alexander, meanwhile, will also star opposite The Wire's Wendell Pierce and Clarke Peters in David Simon's new HBO drama pilot Treme. (TV Guide)

The New York Times speaks to The Mentalist creator Bruno Heller and stars Simon Baker and Robin Tunney about the series. Among some interesting points: "[P]ositioned as it is among the 10 top-rated shows, there is a danger that The Mentalist may have nowhere to go but down, particularly as the January premiere of the eighth season of American Idol looms. As a powerhouse lead-in to Fringe, Idol threatens to give the night back to Fox." (The New York Times)

Stay tuned.

Scary Mother-Blankers: A Look at TV's Meanest Moms

Sure, there are more than a few television mothers who are forces for good: paragons of maternal instincts, positive role-models whose children are well-behaved and look up to them or misunderstood martyrs who are just plain unappreciated.

But let's be honest: the TV mothers that are the most memorable tend to play their roles in a no-wire-hangers Joan Crawford kind of way. These moms, sometimes as eeevil as can be, are usually a hell of a lot more fun than their Pollyanna counterparts.

So who made my list of TV's most memorable meanie moms? Let's take a look.

Name: Julie Cooper (The O.C.)
Actress: Melinda Clarke
Likes: Power, money, powerful men with money, decorating large mansions, blackmail, her daughter's cast-off boyfriends, manipulating everyone around her, Newport Living.
Dislikes: Ryan Atwood, downsizing, no-fault divorces, getting jilted, being blackmailed, Chino.
Acts of Treachery and Wanton Evil: Sleeping with daughter Marisa's high school sweetheart Luke, nearly murdering husband Caleb, persisting in calling Kirsten "Kiki," divorcing Jimmy after discovering his financial problems, discarding husbands like used Kleenex, turning a blind eye to Marissa's blatant alcoholism, sending younger daughter Kaitlin away to school and then promptly forgetting all about her.
Joan Crawford-O-Meter: 8. This Real Housewife of Orange County is as nasty a mutha as they come.

Name: Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development)
Actress: Jessica Walters
Likes: Gin, keeping Buster under her thumb, adopting Korean children, abusing Lindsay, abusing Lupe, soup, yachts, the amorous attentions of her husband's twin brother Oscar, being zipped up.
Dislikes: Lucille Ostero, Klimpy's restaurants, her driver's license picture, au pairs, her children forgetting her birthday, pool food.
Acts of Treachery and Wanton Evil: Adopting Annyong to make Buster jealous, forcing that same son to take part each year in Motherboy competitions, attempting to run over someone she thought was eldest son GOB and then pinning the ensuing accident on Michael.
Joan Crawford-O-Meter: 7. Her mother's milk of kindness dried up long ago.

Name: Lois Henrickson (Big Love)
Actress: Grace Zabriskie
Likes: Being where the action is, fur coats, smirking, turning her sons against each other, turning her sons against her husband, turning her husband against her sons, the smell of laundered money.
Dislikes: Hubby Frank, being neglected by her family, sister wives, smiling, pumping gas.
Acts of Treachery and Wanton Evil: Committing daughter-in-law Wanda to the "booby trap," turning to granddaughter Sarah for help only to rat her out to her parents, attempting to coerce Wanda into shooting the district attorney, admitting on several occasions that she wishes she had strangled son Bill during infancy.
Joan Crawford-O-Meter: 8. Extra points for also playing hellishly scary mom to Laura Palmer on Twin Peaks.

Name: Lianne Mars (Veronica Mars)
Actress: Corinne Bohrer
Likes: Booze, booze, and more booze. Also: extramarital affairs, unicorn music boxes, grand theft, dive bars, sneaking vodka into water bottles, Jake Kane.
Dislikes: Celeste Kane, standing by her man, people taking surveillance shots of her daughter, rehab.
Acts of Treachery and Wanton Evil: Sleeping with both hubby Keith and high school sweetheart Jake Kane so that the parentage of baby Veronica was in question, running away without so much as a by-your-leave, using Veronica's college fund to enter rehab and then dropping out before completing treatment, running away with a $50,000 check intended for Veronica.
Joan Crawford-O-Meter: 7. A music box is no replacement for a mommy.

Name: Emily Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
Actress: Kelly Bishop
Likes: Cocktail hour, Friday night dinners, her beloved DAR, pearls, guilt trips, trips to Europe, Chilton Academy, redecorating the pool house, anything and everything that granddaughter Rory does.
Dislikes: Unwed mothers, subpar servants, Pennilyn Lott, hospital pillows, the state of Lorelai's life, mushed banana on toast.
Acts of Treachery and Wanton Evil: Blackmailing daughter Lorelai into Friday night dinners in exchange for Rory's tuition, repeatedly springing blind dates on Lorelai, backpedaling on the issue of Rory dropping out of Yale, attempting to break up Lorelai and Luke and push Lorelai and Christopher together, firing every maid she's ever employed.
Joan Crawford-O-Meter: 4. Despite her overbearing ways, she really does want what's best for Lorelai and Rory.

Name: Atia of the Julii (Rome)
Actress: Polly Walker
Likes: Torturing her enemies, status, gossip, sex, self-preservation, manipulating others into doing her bidding, ritually bathing in the blood of animals.
Dislikes: Servilia, honesty, weakness, charity, the taste of ashes and iron, Marc Antony marrying her daughter, her children committing incest, not being the center of attention, that "pigspawn trollop" Cleopatra.
Acts of Treachery and Wanton Evil: Paying to have humiliating graffiti of Servilia and Caesar appear on streets around Rome, hiring Titus Pullo to take son Octavian to a brothel, ordering Timon to publicly strip and beat Servilia and later ordering her kidnapping and brutal torture.
Joan Crawford-O-Meter: 10. Not since Livia Soprano has there been a worse Roman matriarch; Atia virtually wrote an ancient text on bad parenting.

What other villainous matriarchs do you think should have made it on this list? Which one of these malevolent mothers is truly the wickedest of them all? You decide.

Iron and Ashes: "Rome" Ends its Run on a High Note

With all the hubbub the other night with the season finale of Battlestar Galactica and a particularly fractious episode of The Amazing Race, I didn't want you to think that I'd forgotten about the series finale (sniffle) of Rome.

If you haven't ever watched Rome, I'm sure the episode in question wouldn't have even caught your notice but for those of us who have obsessively followed the slow burn of Rome, with its intrigues, vendettas, and fractured brotherhoods, the series finale, which aired Sunday (to be repeated a zillion times this week and available on HBO On Demand), was the perfect ending to a near-perfect series, which rarely had a misstep in its two-season history.

While I'm sad that this beloved series was drawn to a close sooner rather than later, I do have to admire HBO and BBC for acknowledging that it's far better to go out on a high note than draw out the inevitable with lackluster writing, subpar stories, and off-the-mark characterization. Like nearly every series tends to do. (Or what Lost is desperately trying to avoid.) Instead, Rome ended much like it began: with backstabbing and bloodbaths and brothers-in-arms Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus.

I was sad to see period rock star Mark Anthony throw himself on his sword (especially given that he made Vorenus hold said Roman sword) after fighting so valiantly (and in recent weeks in a drug and prostitute-fueled stupor). It was Anthony who gave the series that dog-eat-dog-and-die-smiling passion that will be missed but it was an incredible sight to see Vorenus transform the now Egyptian Anthony back into a true Roman. Of course, his death was for naught as the manipulative Cleopatra faked her death in order to engineer a truce with the clinically brutal Octavian... only to take an asp to her own breast when she realized that, as Anthony had told her, Octavian was a monster after all.

Did anyone else feel more than a little bad for poor Atia? Given that she's been responsible for most of the misery, heartbreak, and death in Rome, that's a pretty amazing feat. But I did feel truly awful for Atia, who realized that victory always comes at a price. She might be the mother of the emperor and guaranteed more power than any other woman in Rome, but it does seem that Servilia's curse did come true after all: despite new new position, she has lost everything and everyone she once cared for. ("Send her bitterness and despair for all her life. Let her taste nothing but ashes and iron.") And yet, even faced with all of this, she still manages to keep her head high... and cut Octavian's wife Livia out of her rightful place.

Titus Pullo finally finds his family after, let's say some pretty major setbacks with Eirene and Gaia, coming face to face with his own son Caesarion. He's also reunited, albeit it briefly, with his brother-in-arms Lucius Vorenus, who get to battle side-by-side one last time. Pullo takes Caesarion (now being called Aeneas) back to Rome, along with Vorenus. He too gets the chance to put things right with his blood, finally receiving forgiveness from his wrathful daughter Vorena the Elder.

Does Vorenus die at the tavern? While we never see the death scene itself, I think it's pretty safe to say that if Vorenus didn't die soon after the benediction he receives from Vorena, that the end is coming pretty soon. And in the end, I don't think Vorenus could have asked for a more fitting death than to have died as a result of a "glorious" wound from a sword during a fierce battle that had him and Pullo vastly outnumbered.

As for Pullo, he's happy to collect the reward for Caesarion's death and invents a story to conceal the truth of Caesarion's existence (it involves a rotting head and the desert; you fill in the blanks), which apparently suits Octavian, who wanted the boy put to death for political reasons. It never occurs to Octavian that his old friend Pullo might be lying to his face, but the never-blinking Octavian was never very good with people.

In the end, Rome boils down to those crucial relationships between people: parents, children, brothers, and the eternal possibility of reconciliation or treachery. That we're left with Pullo and Caesarion walking the streets of Rome somewhat richer as he finally tells the boy the story of his father is a fitting end to this vibrant, stirring, and thoughtful series. While life look a lot different since the days of Octavian's rule in Rome, it's a reminder that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search of the Next Doll (CW); Primetime (ABC); House (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); The Great American Dream Vote (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: American Idol.

Gwen Stefani Alert! The fashion icon, former No Doubt singer, and Mrs. Gavin Rossdale coaches the remaining ten finalists in some pop-themed performances. Where are the Harajuku Girls though?

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

I've given up on this once-great drama, but for the few of you out there still watching, here's what's going on. On tonight's repeat episode ("To Whom It May Concern"), Lorelai forced Jackson to reveal the rationale behind Sookie's odd behavior, Luke and Anna attend a custody hearing, and Paris helps Rory mend things between her and Lucy. All in favor of ending this once great show, say aye.

Don't Kill the Messenger: Intrigues Aplenty on "Rome"

I've been woefully lax in discussing the latest season of Rome, which kicked off on HBO a few weeks back and has completely captivated my Sunday nights (along with Battlestar Galactica, Extras, and Gordon Ramsay's F Word).

Deceit. Betrayal. Lust. Murder. Scandal. Welcome to Rome, capital of voracious backstabbing, sometimes quite literally. It's the second season of the beautiful and gripping HBO/BBC period series and also its last.

Wait, what? You heard me. In perhaps a wise mood, HBO renewed the vastly expensive series under the condition that it would be the last and would tie up the storylines from Season One, creating a double-digit maxi-series spread over two seasons. While, on the one hand, I'm deeply saddened to know that there's only a few episodes left to tell the story of Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo and that of Rome itself, I do find it heartening that the series' producers (and creator Bruno Heller) had advance notice and could carve out the story they wanted to tell in the time given. So hopefully no major dangling plotlines at the end of this run, unlike, say, that of the sorely missed Carnivale.

That aside, onto last night's episode ("These Being the Words of Marcus Tullius Cicero"), which was filled with Rome's trademark intrigues. After the suicide of his wife Niobe and issuing a curse on his children (who were promptly picked up by Rome's version of Satan, local mobster Erastes), Lucius Vorenus has been at a bit of a loose end and has been placed in charge of overseeing the Aventine and keeping the local crimelords in check, meting out justice like a feudal lord. And poor Titus Pullo, now married to former slave Eirene, follows his master and "brother" around like a wounded puppy. But not for long.

After a disagreement over Vorenus' handling of a local dispute (which quickly turns into a gang war), Pullo accidentally reveals that he, you know, killed Vorenus' wife's lover Evander last season. (Only in the shadowy world of Rome would this make sense. Pullo's logic: Vorenus and Niobe were happy together so rather than Vorenus find out that his "grandson" was actually Niobe's child with Evander and kill Niobe, Pullo--aided by Octavian--murdered Evander.) Their rift leads to a full-on brawl, after which Pullo and Eirene leave the Aventine and travel for several months. Their poorly-handled return in the only weak point in an otherwise taut episode.

I'm glad that things have come to a head between these two and that the secret of Evander's death (and Pullo's culpability in the matter) has finally been revealed, after all this time. While Pullo and Eirene were off wherever they were, Vorenus was hand-picked by Antony to serve in the upcoming battle royale against turncoat Octavian. Of course, Pullo has always been a favorite of Octavian, so it's no surprise where he'll end up on. Me, I can't wait to see these two former brothers-in-arms on opposite sides of the battlefield.

Meanwhile, over at the house of the Julii, Atia has some major problems of her own. With Octavian gone (and raising an army of 10,000 strong against Atia's lover Antony), Atia focuses her energies on driving daughter Octavia mad, slighting her friend Jocasta (the daughter of a wealthy tradesman) and making it clear that the goo-goo eyes she was making with Octavian's friend/messenger Agrippa will not be tolerated. (Hmmm, looks like there's a possible love story brewing there.) With Antony's consulship about to end, he is planning to leave Rome and take over as governor of Macedonia, a desolate place that Atia shutters to think of, so she tries to convince him to stay in Rome. Antony being Antony, he instead decides to take over Gaul and alternately tries to bribe/threaten Cicero to force the Senate into making his whim a reality. (Cicero instead leaves Rome and sends a scathing proclamation about Antony's unsuitability to the Senate to be read aloud; Antony strikes down the messenger.)

But Atia may never get to Gaul as intrigues in her own home could bring about her demise. A spy lurks in Atia's household, a beautiful slave boy Duro, who was hired by the deceitful Servilia to poison her. Once Duro is sure that Atia is dining alone (Octavia is out with Jocasta again), he pours a liquid into her stew and watches gleefully as a cook brings the bowl out to the waiting Atia.

Hmmm, could Atia be dead? I certainly hope not as Polly Walker is one of the many reasons I tune in regularly to this period-flecked soap/drama. My guess: Atia does take the poison, but not enough to kill her. Then she flays Duro and goes after his mistress. Revenge is a bitch and no one is bitchier than our beloved Atia. Oh, Servilia, I almost feel bad for you.

Meanwhile, Vorenus and Pullo still have no idea that Vorenus' children weren't killed by the evil Erastes but were instead just sold into slavery. (Still, not exactly a good time.) As Vorenus' guilt continues to eat away at him, his sister-in-law Lyde manages to escape her cage and heads for help in Rome, leaving the children to fend for themselves. Pullo has a vision from the gods to seek out Vorenus in Rome and, while he doesn't find his fallen brother, he does find Lyde and discovers the truth and sets out to free those poor kids.

Please tell me it's almost time for another episode. With only a handful of episodes of Rome remaining (seriously, it's less than ten), I can't wait for another fix of this bold, colorful, and spellbinding drama and to learn what latest intrigue its denizens have cooked up next.

"Rome" airs Sunday evenings at 9 pm ET/PT on HBO.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The Class (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Wife Swap (ABC); Prison Break (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); Supernanny (ABC); 24 (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC); What About Brian (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

Everybody Hates Chris, recently picked up for a third season, returns tonight with a new batch of episodes. On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates Hall Monitors"), Tanya learns that her friends are hanging out with her just to get close to Drew, while Chris makes the uncomfortable realization that his classmates don't take him seriously when he becomes hall monitor. Word to the wise, Chris: hall monitor has never equalled popularity. Ever.

9 pm: 24.

It's 9 am on Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, President Palmer (D.B. Woodside) and his advisers continue to deal with the, er, fallout from the nuclear blast in Valencia, Jack's family problems get even more tricky, and Reed Pollack (Chad Lowe) and Lennox strategize.

9:30 pm: Old Christine.

I can't tell you why I like watching this traditional sitcom, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus is like a warm blanket of coziness after a long Monday. On tonight's repeat episode ("Separation Anxiety"), Christine's friend Barb (Wanda Sykes) decides to split from hubby Pete, leading to Christine getting excited that she finally has another divorced friend, but relations between Barb and Pete quickly thaw.

10 pm: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations on the Travel Channel.

On tonight's episode, Tony travels to Russia, where he samples some mushrooms, caviar, salmon, and vodka, all in a 19th century-style restaurant.