Channel Surfing: Javier Bardem Finds Glee, Brian Austin Green Circles Wisteria Lane, Amy Madigan Snares Fringe, and More

Welcome to your Tuesday morning television briefing. To those of you who celebrated the Fourth of July, welcome back to work after a long weekend. (Sigh.)

Javier Bardem (Vicky Cristina Barcelona) will guest star next season on FOX's Glee, according to Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello (and Dave Karger), who reports that the Academy Award-winning actor will appear as "a rock star who befriends Artie (Kevin McHale)." In fact, it was Bardem who approached Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy about dropping by the 20th Century Fox Television-produced musical-comedy when they worked together on Eat Pray Love. “We’re going to rock the house,” Bardem told Entertainment Weekly. “We’re going to do some heavy metal — Spanish heavy metal, which is the worst." (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

TV Guide Magazine's Will Keck writes that Brian Austin Green (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) is weighing a potential role on ABC's Desperate Housewives, according to sources close to the situation. Green would play Keith, described as "a single playboy who makes the women's jaws drop." Allegedly cast for next season: Lainie Kazan (My Big Fat Greek Wedding), who will play Maxine, a neighbor who befriends Susan and Mike in their new digs. (TV Guide Magazine)

SPOILER! Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is reporting that Amy Madigan (Grey's Anatomy) has been cast in approximately four episodes of FOX's Fringe, where she will play the mother of Anna Torv's Olivia Dunham. Citing unnamed sources, Ausiello reports that Madigan will make her first appearance in the third season premiere, where Torv's Olivia will come face to face with her dead mother's alternate universe counterpart. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Making it the least kept secret in Hollywood: Reid Scott (My Boys) has joined the cast of Showtime's The Big C. The actor, who appeared in the revised pilot for the Laura Linney-led dark comedy, will play Cathy's oncologist Dr. Todd. So how was Scott able to take on another role while Jordana Spiro and Kyle Howard had to pull out of their respective network projects? "Scott is doing The Big C with TBS' blessing," writes Deadline's Nellie Andreeva. "What also helped him do the series while still under contract on My Boys is that his role on The Big C is technically recurring. Additionally, the smaller size of The Big C's order - 13 episodes - and its production schedule - it is now filming for an Aug. 16 premiere - would make Scott available in the unlikely event that My Boys is renewed for another season." (Deadline)

Sean Young is sticking around on The Young and the Restless, after all. Entertainment Weekly's Lynette Rice is reporting that Young, who appeared in five episodes of the CBS daytime soap, will return to the series on July 14th and remain on board Y&R through August. Young's attachment comes on the heels of a slew of celebrities recurring on soaps this year, including James Franco, Julianne Moore, Michael Nouri, and Vanessa Marcil, as well as David Hasselhoff and Eric Roberts. (Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood Insider)

So much for that Eastwick finale. The Futon Critic is reporting that ABC has scuttered plans to air the final two unaired installments of supernatural drama Eastwick, instead using the Saturday timeslot to air repeats of the second episodes of both Scoundrels and The Gates on July 10th. (Futon Critic)

E! Online's Megan Masters talks to 90210 star Tristan Wilds about the finale that never was. I hope that nobody was upset," Wilds told Masters. "I just think it left some more for the next season so you guys can tune in and watch.... Some of you guys were upset, but you'll get to see what happens next season. You know, we gotta keep the fans thirsty." As for the departure of Rob Estes from the CW drama's cast, Wild said that the change of focus will shine a light on another element of society. You'll see another part of American culture. It's the plight of the single mom," said the former Wire star. "You get to see what she goes through and how she copes with dealing with two kids and still trying to find a job and keep a house et cetera, et cetera. It'll be a very different dynamic, but it's still very, very true to life." (E! Online's Watch with Kristin)

Chiwetel Ejiofor (Endgame), Christopher Eccleston (Doctor Who), Sir Antony Sher (The Wolfman) and Stephen Rea (The Crying Game) have been cast in BBC Two's noir thriller The Shadow Line, from writer/director Hugo Blick (Sensitive Skin). Here's how Auntie Beeb is positioning the six-hour drama: "From the cop with a bullet in his brain, whose amnesia leaves him doubtful of his own moral compass; to the drug-lord driven by a profound personal tragedy, risking it all on one last deal; to the brilliantly lethal puppet-master who gradually emerges from the shadows to bring the story to its shocking climax – The Shadow Line explores the morality of these characters as they negotiate the repercussions of [drug baron Harvey] Wratten's death and attempt to navigate the fine line between right and wrong." (BBC)

In other BBC-related news, BBC Worldwide is set to launch more television channels within the US to complement BBC America, reports Variety's Steve Clarke. [Editor: While no details were given about the potential new digital offerings, one can't help but remember that the division wanted to spin off its BBC World News into a 24-hour news network and allow BBC America to focus solely on entertainment. Whether that is still part of the plan remains to be seen.] (Variety)

Comedy Central's Ugly Americans and Secret Girlfriend are heading across the pond to Fiver. (Variety)

Season Four of Hannah Montana--subtitled Hannah Montana Forever--will feature a slew of guest stars including Sheryl Crowe, Iyaz, Ray Liotta, Christine Taylor, Dr. Phil McGraw, Jay Leno, and Kelly Ripa. The final season begins July 11th. (Hollywood Reporter)

Disney Channel has slated telepic Den Brother, about a teenage hockey star who is suspended from play and then must step in as substitute leader for his younger brother's scout troup, for an August 13th debut, though the film will be available via Disney Channel on Demand beginning August 6th. Project is written by Jim Krieg (with story by Mike Horowitz) and directed by Mark Taylor. (Variety)

Stay tuned.

Channel Surfing: Minnie Driver to "Modern Family," Jeffrey Tambor Opposite David Tennant in "Rex," ABC Circling "Charlie's Angels," and More

Welcome to your Friday morning television briefing.

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is reporting that Minnie Driver (The Riches) has landed a plum guest role on ABC comedy Modern Family, where she will play "a friend and former co-worker of Claire’s (Julie Bowen). The two reconnect after years of being out of touch and things are not exactly how they remembered." Driver's episode is slated to air in January. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development) will star opposite David Tennant in NBC's legal dramedy Rex is Not Your Lawyer, where he will play the psychiatrist of the panic attack-prone titular lawyer (Tennant) who is described as "a specialist in anxiety disorders who himself suffers from them and who also becomes romantically involved with Rex's mother." David Semel will direct the pilot, written by Andrew Leeds and David Lampson. (Hollywood Reporter)

ABC is said to be close to handing out a pilot order to a contemporary remake of Charlie's Angels, with Josh Friedman (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) attached to write and executive produce the new project, which hails from Sony Pictures Television. Also attached to executive produce: Leonard Goldberg, Drew Barrymore, and Nancy Juvonen. (Variety)

Syfy has quietly cut back the episodic order of Battlestar Galactica prequel series Caprica by one episode, bringing the total to 19 installments. (Chicago Tribune's The Watcher)

ABC has given a script order to a comedy pilot based on Howard J. Morris and Jenny Lee's book "Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid," which will focus on a couple with the failed marriage behind them who are looking to make it work the second time around. Morris and Lee will adapt their own book, with Morris and Elliot Webb attached as executive producers. (Variety)

Maggie Friedman, the executive producer of the newly cancelled supernatural drama Eastwick, has clarified remarks that she made to Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello about being "furious" about the axe falling on her series. "The other day, when we were discussing the cancellation of Eastwick, I misspoke in the worst possible way," wrote Friedman. "The word 'furious' was poorly chosen by me. You had said to me that 'the fans are understandably furious' and so I agreed that I was too, but the truth is, I’m not. I see that word now in print attributed to me and it’s very painful, because it seems to imply I am angry with ABC and nothing could be further from the truth. They treated me really well. I am not the least bit furious, with anyone. That’s simply not the kind of person I am. Yes, I’m sad about the show being cancelled, because it was creatively fulfilling and tons of fun to make and an amazing group of people, but I’m not angry." (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

SPOILER! E! Online's Kristin Dos Santos and Megan Masters are reporting that there's going to be a rather revealing love scene between outbound Melrose Place stars Colin Egglesfield and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz coming on the nighttime soap before the duo depart the series. "Things get pretty violent and kind of crazy," Egglesfield told E! Online. "Auggie ends up hitting the bottle and falls off the deep end a little bit." (E! Online's Watch with Kristin)

The CW is developing medical drama series HMS, about a group of promising medical students at Harvard Medical School which is being described as a younger Grey's Anatomy. Project, from Warner Bros. Television is written and executive produced by Amy Holden Jones (Mystic Pizza) and co-executive produced by Heroes star Hayden Panettiere. (Hollywood Reporter)

Stay tuned.

Comic-Con Update: Warner Bros. Television Group Announces Panels, Talent For SDCC Next Month

After weeks of anticipation (and speculation), Warner Bros. Television Group has finally announced which series they will be bringing down to San Diego Comic-Con next month.

All of the usual suspects--Chuck, Fringe, Supernatural, Smallville, and The Big Bang Theory--will be in attendance along with new series from the studio including V, Human Target, Past Life, Eastwick, and Vampire Diaries and animated series Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

Additionally, Warner Bros. Entertainment (WBE) will once again have a nearly 3,000-square foot, two-story booth right on the convention floor and will naturally be giving away those exclusive and ubiquitous Comic-Con Bags.

The full press release from Warner Bros. Television Group, along with dates, times, and locations (as well as full descriptions) of their panels can be found below.

WARNER BROS. TELEVISION GROUP RETURNS TO COMIC-CON IN 2009 WITH STAR-STUDDED LINEUP
FEATURING A RECORD 11 SHOWS

Stars and Creators of “The Big Bang Theory,”
“Chuck,” “Eastwick,” “Fringe,”
“Human Target,” “Past Life,” “Smallville,” “Supernatural,” “V,”
“The Vampire Diaries” and “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” Descend on
San Diego for Panel Sessions, Media Appearances and Autograph Signings

Warner Bros. Entertainment’s Two-Story,
Nearly 3,000-Square Foot Booth to
Host Signings, Video Game Demos and Numerous Giveaways,
Including the Studio’s Exclusive Comic-Con Bags

BURBANK, Calif. (June 25, 2009) – Warner Bros. Television Group (WBTVG) returns to Comic-Con International: San Diego in 2009 with a star-studded lineup featuring a Studio-record 11 series that will be showcased in panel sessions, screenings, media appearances and autograph signings throughout the convention. For continuing info on the Studio’s plans at Comic-Con, please follow us on Twitter @TheWBdotcom. WBTVG will also be launching a Con-related website at www.TheWB.com/ComicCon, coming in July.

Series and selected stars and creators (*) scheduled to attend include:

• “The Big Bang Theory”: Johnny Galecki (“Roseanne”), Jim Parsons (“Garden State”), Kaley Cuoco (“Charmed”), executive producer Chuck Lorre (“Two and a Half Men”) and more
• “Chuck”: Zachary Levi (upcoming “Alvin and the Chipmunks”), Yvonne Strahovski (upcoming “I Love You Too”), executive producer Josh Schwartz (“Gossip Girl”) and more
• “Eastwick”: Rebecca Romijn (“X-Men”), Lindsay Price (“Lipstick Jungle”), Jaime Ray Newman (“Veronica Mars”) and more
• “Fringe”: Anna Torv (“The Pacific”), Josh Jackson (“Shutter”), John Noble (“The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King”) and more
• “Human Target”: Mark Valley (“Fringe”), Chi McBride (“Pushing Daisies”), Jackie Earle Haley (“Watchmen,” “Nightmare on Elm Street”) and more
• “Past Life”: Kelli Giddish (“Damages”), Nicholas Bishop (“Above the Law”), Ravi Patel (“Scrubs”) and executive producer David Hudgins (“Friday Night Lights”)
• “Smallville”: Erica Durance (“House of the Dead”), Justin Hartley (“Gemini Division”), Cassidy Freeman (“Finishing the Game: The Search for a New Bruce Lee”) and more
• “Supernatural”: Misha Collins (“24”), Jim Beaver (“Deadwood”), executive producer Eric Kripke and more
• “V”: Elizabeth Mitchell (“Lost”), Scott Wolf (“Party of Five”) and executive producers Scott Peters (“The 4400”), Jeffrey Bell (“Angel,” “Alias”) and more
• “The Vampire Diaries”: Ian Somerhalder (“Lost”), Paul Wesley (“Killer Movie), Nina Dobrev (“Degrassi: The Next Generation”), executive producer Kevin Williamson (“Scream”) and more
• “Batman: The Brave and the Bold”: Voice of Batman Diedrich Bader (“Surf’s Up”) and more

WARNER BROS. TELEVISION GROUP CONFIRMED
COMIC-CON PANEL DESCRIPTIONS

WEDNESDAY, JULY 22, 2009

Special Sneak Peek Pilot Screenings – Comic-Con and Warner Bros. Television proudly present exclusive pilot premiere screenings of some of the most buzzed-about new TV series of the 2009–2010 season – Human Target, The Vampire Diaries and V – as well as an exclusive preview trailer for additional upcoming shows. Ballroom 20

Based upon the popular DC Comics title and starring Mark Valley (Fringe), Chi McBride (Pushing Daisies) and Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen), the highly anticipated Human Target is an action-packed thrill ride about a mysterious private contractor who will stop at nothing, even if it literally means becoming a human target, to keep his clients alive. Executive produced by McG (Terminator Salvation), Jonathan Steinberg (Jericho), Brad Kern (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman), Kevin Hooks (Prison Break) and Peter Johnson (Supernatural), the series is from Bonanza Productions Inc. in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, DC Comics and Warner Bros. Television. Human Target will air Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on FOX, beginning in January.

Already one of the most talked-about new shows of the upcoming season, V is a thrilling reimagining of the groundbreaking miniseries, starring Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost), Morris Chestnut (Boyz n the Hood), Joel Gretsch (The 4400), Lourdes Benedicto (24), Logan Huffman (America), Laura Vandervoort (Smallville), with Morena Baccarin (Firefly) and Scott Wolf (Party of Five). Scott Peters (The 4400), Jace Hall (The Jace Hall Show), Steve Pearlman (Related) and Jeffrey Bell (Angel) are the executive producers for HDFilms in association with Warner Bros. Television. V will premiere in midseason on ABC.

Writer/producer Kevin Williamson (the Scream movies) is back with The Vampire Diaries, an edgy and romantic new drama in which two vampire brothers – one good, one evil – are at war for the soul of one girl. Based upon the best-selling book series of the same name by L.J. Smith, the show stars Nina Dobrev (Degrassi: The Next Generation), Paul Wesley (Everwood), Ian Somerhalder (Lost), Steven R. McQueen (Everwood), Katerina Graham (17 Again), Sara Canning (Smallville), Candice Accola (Supernatural), Zach Roerig (Friday Night Lights), Kayla Ewell (Entourage) and Michael Trevino (The Riches). Williamson, Leslie Morgenstein (Gossip Girl) and Bob Levy (Gossip Girl) are the executive producers for Bonanza Productions Inc., Outerbanks Entertainment and Alloy Entertainment in association with Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios. The Vampire Diaries will air Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT this fall on The CW, premiering September 10.

FRIDAY, JULY 24, 2009

10-11 am: Batman: The Brave and the Bold Screening and Q&A – Gotham takes over San Diego as Diedrich Bader (Surf's Up), the voice of Batman, returns to Comic-Con alongside executive producer Sam Register (Teen Titans), producer James Tucker (Justice League Unlimited), producer and story editor Michael Jelenic (The Batman) and voice director Andrea Romano (Superman Doomsday). Fans can catch the world premiere screening of the upcoming “Mayhem of the Music Meister” episode – featuring the voice of Neil Patrick Harris (Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog) as the Music Meister – and enjoy a lively discussion and Q&A with the show’s dynamic creative team. From Warner Bros. Animation, Batman: The Brave and the Bold airs Fridays at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT on Cartoon Network. Batman: The Brave and the Bold Volume 1 will be released on DVD August 25. Room 6DE.

1-2 pm: The Big Bang Theory Screening and Q&A – Bazinga! Your favorite scientists and girl-next-door are back as The Big Bang Theory returns to Comic-Con with a special screening and a Q&A with the show's creators and stars. Come chat with executive producers Chuck Lorre (Two and a Half Men) and Bill Prady (Dharma & Greg), as well as series stars Johnny Galecki (Roseanne), Jim Parsons (Garden State), Kaley Cuoco (Charmed), Simon Helberg (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) and Kunal Nayyar (NCIS). From Chuck Lorre Productions, Inc. in association with Warner Bros. Television, The Big Bang Theory airs Mondays at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT on the CBS Television Network. The Big Bang Theory: The Complete Second Season is released on DVD September 15. Ballroom 20.

2:15-3:15 pm: Past Life Pilot Screening and Q&A – Past Life makes its debut at Comic-Con with a screening of the pilot episode and a Q&A with the show's creator and stars. Come talk with executive producer David Hudgins (Friday Night Lights) as well as series stars Kelli Giddish (Damages), Nicholas Bishop (Above the Law) and Ravi Patel (Scrubs) and learn more about this fast-paced emotional thriller in which a gifted psychologist and former detective must work together to unravel mysteries that must be solved in both the past and the present. From Bonanza Productions Inc. in association with Warner Bros. Television, Past Life will air Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT midseason on FOX. Room 6A.

SATURDAY, JULY 25, 2009

10-11 am: Chuck Screening and Q&A – Chuck returns to Comic-Con! Join executive producers and co-creators Josh Schwartz (Gossip Girl) and Chris Fedak, along with series stars Zachary Levi (upcoming Alvin and the Chipmunks), Yvonne Strahovski (upcoming I Love You Too), Joshua Gomez (Without a Trace), Ryan McPartlin (Super Capers), Mark Christopher Lawrence (The Pursuit of Happyness), Vik Sahay (This Is Wonderland), Scott Krinsky (The O.C.), Sarah Lancaster (Everwood) and Adam Baldwin (Serenity) for a Q&A to discuss season three and screen an exclusive retrospective highlight reel. Plus, don't miss a special surprise from some of your favorite characters! Produced by College Hill Pictures, Wonderland Sound and Vision in association with Warner Bros. Television, Chuck airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on NBC. Ballroom 20.

10:15-11:15 am: Eastwick Pilot Screening and Q&A – Be among the first to see the pilot of the highly anticipated series Eastwick. Based on the John Updike novel and the hit film The Witches of Eastwick, this sexy and bold comedic drama centers on three young witches whose powers are awakened when a mysterious man moves to town. Be careful what you wish for – the perfect man truly may be the Devil! Join series stars Rebecca Romijn (X-Men), Lindsay Price (Lipstick Jungle), Jaime Ray Newman (Veronica Mars) and Paul Gross (Due South), along with creator/executive producer Maggie Friedman (Related) and director/executive producer David Nutter (Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) as they answer questions from the audience after this exclusive sneak peek. Produced by Warner Bros. Television, Eastwick will air Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET/PT this fall on the ABC Television Network. Room 6A.

2:45-3:45 pm: V Pilot Screening and Q&A – Already one of the most talked-about new series of the upcoming television season, catch a special screening of the pilot episode of V, a reimagining of the groundbreaking miniseries, followed by a Q&A with stars Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost), Morris Chestnut (The Cave), Joel Gretsch (The 4400), Morena Baccarin (Firefly) and Scott Wolf (Go), along with executive producers Scott Peters (The 4400), Jeffrey Bell (Alias), Steve Pearlman (Related) and Jace Hall (Chadam). From HDFilms in association with Warner Bros. Television, V will premiere midseason on the ABC Television Network. Ballroom 20.

4-5 pm: Fringe Screening and Q&A – Fringe cast members Anna Torv (upcoming The Pacific), Josh Jackson (Shutter) and John Noble (The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King) return to Comic-Con along with consulting producers Alex Kurtzman & Robert Orci (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) and executive producers Jeff Pinkner (Lost) and J.H. Wyman (Keen Eddie) for a Q&A with fans and an exclusive video presentation. Join the discussion of this critically acclaimed thriller, which explores the ever-blurring line between science fiction and reality, where hybrid monsters tear through sewers, thieves walk through walls and portals open to worlds unknown. From Bad Robot Productions in association with Warner Bros. Television, Fringe will air Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT this fall on FOX, premiering September 17. Fringe: The Complete First Season will be released on DVD and Blu-ray™ Hi Def September 8. Ballroom 20.

4:45-5:45 pm: Human Target Pilot Screening and Q&A – Join Human Target stars Mark Valley (Fringe), Chi McBride (Pushing Daisies) and Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen) along with the show's executive producers Jon Steinberg (Jericho), Brad Kern (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) and Peter Johnson (Supernatural: Origins Comic Book Series) for an exclusive Q&A and a screening of the highly anticipated pilot based on the popular DC Comics title about a mysterious agent for hire who assumes different identities, literally becoming a human target on behalf of his clients. From Bonanza Productions Inc. in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, DC Comics and Warner Bros. Television, Human Target will air Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT beginning in January 2010 on FOX. Room 6BCF.

6-7 pm: The Vampire Diaries Pilot Screening and Q&A – Join The Vampire Diaries stars Nina Dobrev (Degrassi: The Next Generation), Paul Wesley (Killer Movie) and Ian Somerhalder (Lost), along with executive producer/writer Kevin Williamson (Scream), writer Julie Plec (Kyle XY) and executive producer Bob Levy (Gossip Girl), as the series makes its Comic-Con debut with a screening of the much-talked-about pilot and a Q&A. This edgy and romantic new drama, in which two vampire brothers – one good, one evil – are at war for the soul of one girl, is based upon the best-selling book series of the same name. Lynette Rice of Entertainment Weekly will moderate. From Bonanza Productions Inc., Outerbanks Entertainment and Alloy Entertainment in association with Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios, The Vampire Diaries will air Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT this fall on The CW, premiering September 10. Room 6BCF.

SUNDAY, JULY 26, 2009

10:30-11:30 am: Smallville Screening and Q&A – Comic-Con favorite Smallville returns, as showrunners Kelly Souders and Brian Peterson join cast members including Smallville’s Lois Lane – Erica Durance (House of the Dead) – Justin Hartley (Gemini Division), Cassidy Freeman (Finishing the Game: The Search for a New Bruce Lee) and others (yet to be announced) to talk about the year ahead, answer fan questions and give an exclusive sneak peek at clips from season nine. Award-winning comic book writer, Emmy®-nominated film and television writer/producer, and Smallville alum Jeph Loeb (Heroes) will moderate the session. From Tollin/Robbins Productions in association with Warner Bros. Television, Smallville will air Fridays at 8:00 p.m. this fall on The CW, premiering September 25. Smallville: The Complete Eighth Season will be released on DVD and Blu-ray™ Hi Def August 25. Room 6BCF.

11:45-12:45 pm: Supernatural Screening and Q&A – Join Supernatural stars Misha Collins (24) and Jim Beaver (Deadwood), creator/executive producer Eric Kripke (Boogeyman), and executive producers Ben Edlund (Angel) and Sera Gamble (Eyes) for an exclusive sneak peek at footage from the highly anticipated fifth season premiere of this thrill-ride series. They’ll also answer questions from the audience and show a portion of the special features from the upcoming fourth season DVD release. Produced by Wonderland Sound and Vision in association with Warner Bros. Television, Supernatural airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on The CW, premiering September 10. Supernatural: The Complete Fourth Season will be released on DVD and Blu-ray™ Hi-Def September 1. Room 6BCF.

Stay tuned.

Pilot Inspektor: An Advance Review of ABC's "Eastwick"

ABC's newest drama series Eastwick, which launches this fall, is the type of series where people are meant to be "serious" because they wear glasses.

Giving a new meaning to telegraphing rather than letting the plot unfold on its own, Eastwick--based on the 1987 feature film The Witches of Eastwick--tells the story of three women who are strangers to one another in the idyllic New England town of Eastwick. Each making a wish on a coin that seemingly magically appears in their presence, they unwittingly open the door to the return of an enigmatic figure into their midst. A figure whose arrival presages darkness, evil, and wanton destruction, along with sex, sex, sex.

But before that, there's the drinking of martinis, the discussion of menfolk, and some female bonding, making Eastwick something more akin to Lipstick Jungle with magical powers.

Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty) plays freethinking artist and single mother Roxie Torcoletti, a woman who is prone to jumping into bed with much younger men (like Matt Dallas' Chad) and sculpting fertility goddess statues. Lindsay Price (Lipstick Jungle) is deeply repressed local newspaper reporter Joanna Frankel, a woman who can't quite work up the nerve to ask her hunky co-worker Will (Dirt's Johann Urb) out on a date or ask her editor for a promotion. (Did anyone tell her she's lucky to have a media job in these dismal economic times?) And then there's Jamie Ray Newman (Veronica Mars), who plays devoted mother and wife Kat Gardener, a nurse whose marriage to the boozy, unemployed Raymond (Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian's Jon Bernthal) is on its last legs.

Their wishes summon a man (or is it the Devil himself?) named Darryl Van Horne (Slings and Arrow's Paul Gross) to Eastwick. Arriving in the town, Van Horne sets about to answer all of their prayers, purchasing many a failing business as well as a historic estate (meant to be a snowy egret sanctuary) and the local paper. Eastwick quickly falls to Van Horne and so do its women. With the notable exception, that is, of local historian Bun (The Nine's Veronica Cartwright, who appeared in the original film), hospitalized after an attack by red ants who warns Kat against the coming darkness.

As for our trio, they are quickly bonded by circumstances out of their control, pushed together by the cone of power and they quickly let their hair down and become involved with this charismatic stranger, who changes their lives even as they discover access to abilities they didn't know they had. Roxie can see into the future via prophetic dreams and manages to come to the aid of her daughter Mia (Days of Our Lives' Ashley Benson) when she's nearly date-raped; Kat unleashes lightning to smite her husband Raymond when he threatens to divorce her and take their numerous kids; Joanna uses her mesmeric gaze to land that promotion and get Will to admit that he has feelings for her.

Rounding out the cast is Sara Rue, who plays Penny, Joanna's best friend and her co-worker at the paper, a dour woman who seems to have forgotten to get in line when they were handing out sympathetic qualities. I'm not sure how Penny fits into the larger picture but she uncovers evidence at the pilot's very end that indicates that Darryl Van Horne may not be who he claims to be.

The problem is that audiences will have likely lost interest by then. Eastwick, written by Maggie Friedman and directed by David Nutter, is the sort of series that tries way too hard by far to be likable, mixing its supernatural plot with discussions of vibrators and penis size, confusing predictable crassness for subversion.

But the real issue is that none of Eastwick's characters are remotely likable or compelling. In fact, some like Sara Rue's Penny and Jon Bernthal's Raymond are so irritatingly shrill and annoying that I wanted some divine intervention to smite them where they stood and then drop their ashes into that over-the-top fountain. The rest seem to be made up of the sort of cliches we find on female-skewing series that look to emulate the sort of feminine discourse made popular by Sex and the City.

Paul Gross tries his best as the seductive Darryl Van Horne but it's hard to separate his performance from that of Jack Nicholson's and Gross comes off as little more than a Nicholson manqué here. He's meant to be the Devil at his most magnetic but Gross' Van Horne is a little too stuck in the 1980s to be all that alluring. (Hell, Romijn's Roxie even makes a joke about his out-dated hairstyle.)

The three main actresses are all passable but none of them seem to be having a particularly good time. Price's Joanna comes across as equal parts frigid and socially awkward (hence the vibrator talk with Will) but then is transformed halfway through the episode into a vampish coquette able to get her way with everything. (She's actually far more likable when she's putting her foot in it.) Roxie dreams of being murdered and comes face to face with Jamie, the man responsible, at the episode's end. And Kat is tired of her husband's constant leeching and so moves the earth and opens up the heavens to strike him down. If this all unfolds just within the very first installment, how can the plot escalate?

It's hard to see just how much longevity this premise has. Now that Joanna and Penny know that Van Horne is an impostor by the end of the pilot and the women are all exhibiting fine-tuned use of their magical abilities, just where do we go from here? What is Season Four of this series? (Hell, what's Season Two?) Does Eastwick really have the legs to be an ongoing drama?

Perhaps if the dialogue were more clever and the writing less hackneyed, it would be easy to overlook the obvious flaws within Eastwick. But as it is, I found the pilot episode to be both cloying and grating and far less clever than it believes itself to be. No magic here, sadly.



Eastwick airs Wednesdays at 10 pm ET/PT this fall on ABC.