“Optimistic With a Real Truth Flavor”: Family Matters on "The Amazing Race"

Last night's episode of The Amazing Race ("I've Become the Archie Bunker of the Home") has got to be one of the funniest installments of the long-running reality franchise to date... and quite possibly showcased one of the most depressingly dysfunctional relationships ever to appear on the series (well, there's always Jonathan and Victoria, but the less said about them the better).

On that front, I'm talking specifically about father/daughter team Ronald and Christina, whose interactions had my jaw permanently clinging to the floor. I'll start by saying that Christina exhibits the patience of a saint; throughout last night's episode she managed to rein in her anger and emotions in a way that I know I wouldn't have been able to do under similar circumstances. Ronald for his part does not know how to speak to his daughter, interact with her, or encourage her. In fact, I truly think that Ronald believes that his constant nagging (along with mean-spirited recriminations and finger-pointing) IS his way of encouraging Christina, though it's quite clear to everyone around them that just the reverse is true. He also cannot stop talking, as evidenced from his involvement at the ditch vaulting roadblock, even when Christina politely told him that she needed to concentrate, or his constant whining that the bike challenge was "an ocean of things." (Um, yes, that's what these hunting challenges usually amount to.)

But I could not believe the way Ronald had a complete and utter mental breakdown at the airport and started freaking out at Nicolas after an airline counter agent supposedly made a comment that Nicolas was "rude." The way in which he started flapping his arms about and yelling at Nick about the words coming out of his mouth (“You got a mouth that basically starts with bad energy”) and how he cleaned the earwax out of his ears that morning was shocking and even more appalling than Nicolas' pushiness. The clincher, however, had to be his words to daughter Christina while they waited for the bus to the rural village of Ransdorf: “I let you loose on this thing and you basically disappointed me.”

Wow. I was amazed that Christina kept her civility. Instead of railing against her insane father, she fought back tears as she said, “You’re hard on me. Do you know that? It’s like punch after punch after punch. You really need to change that about yourself.”

On a lighter note, I really do like dating Goths Kynt and Vyxsin. I didn't think I would but they seem to be the one team that is super-competitive whilst still being remarkably supportive and understanding of each other in a way that no other team seems to be. Just look at Nathan and Jennifer if you don't believe me. I cannot wait for these two to simply self-implode and leave the Race already. Still, I had to rewind the moment about eight times when she toppled over their bike like a crazy person and then started grabbing things maniacally, after commenting rudely about Shana. Classy.

I'm liking Jason and Lorena a bit more this week though they seem to get far too stressed about glitches along the way to make me feel confident that their sudden levelheadedness isn't more than just a passing fad. (Laughed out loud at Jason's comment about the period-dressed children at the pit stop being "cute.") Still, they were the competitors to beat this leg of the race, breezing through both challenges with an ease that was exciting to see. Not so for TK and Liz, who found themselves stranded at the Hoist It Detour... that is, until Liz took over and started tying knots and hoisting those pieces of furniture herself. Tee hee.

Um, why did grandpappy Don take of his clothes for the ditch-vaulting roadblock? And why didn't Nicholas perform this task? Burning questions for me. I'm open to any and all possible theories.

Ultimately, it was married lesbian ministers Kate and Pat who were the last team to arrive at the pit stop and Phil was forced to tell them that they'd both been eliminated from the race. I'm sad to see them go, especially as they are the first religious team to admit that God has no cares about whether they win or lose TAR, had overcome several obstacles to be there in order to compete, and had both a dogged optimism as well as a little bit of a mean streak. They'll be missed, especially as several of the other teams just irk, like Shana and Jennifer complaining that they haven't had facials or manicures since they started the Race... one leg back.

Next week on The Amazing Race ("Please Lord, Give Me Milk!"), one contestant is felled by pains from a hernia and one of the older men (guess who!) falls for two female Racers; Lorena succumbs to panic at a Roadblock involving milking a camel while Jason looks on from the sidelines. Good times!