Casting Couch: Fat Tony Suits Up for CBS' "Criminal Minds"

Looks like Harvey Keitel won't be returning to television anytime soon.

Rumors had pegged the former Bad Lieutenant star Keitel as a lock for being the replacement for outbound Criminal Minds linchpin Mandy Patinkin, who very publicly decided to depart the series at the start of the upcoming season. (Coincidentally, I've been watching Patinkin in the first season of Showtime's Dead Like Me these past few days.)

However, Criminal Minds showrunner Ed Bernero has instead announced (via the Criminal Minds Fanatic blog) that Joe Mantegna will join the cast of the police procedural next season. Details about the new character that Mantegna will play and when said character will first premiere remain under wraps.

The reason behind the switcheroo? Negotiations with Keitel went nowhere and producers were forced to look elsewhere for a new series lead. Mantegna for his part has appeared on the Tiffany network several times in the last few years, appearing on Joan of Arcadia, First Monday, telepic A Very Married Christmas, and mini-series The Last Don.

Let's just hope that the Criminal Minds gang's first task isn't to take down Fat Tony and his nefarious Springfield crime syndicate. That's a little too much meta, even for my taste.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Thank God You're Here (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Wife Swap (ABC); So You Think You Can Dance (FOX)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/Rules of Engagement (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); Fat March (ABC); Hell's Kitchen (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Supernanny (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

9 pm: Big Love on HBO.

HBO's polygamist family drama Big Love is inching its way to its second season finale. On tonight's episode ("The Happiest Girl"), Bill and Margene attend a convention together, Alby discovers that Juniper Creek has been robbed, Rhonda attempts to blackmail Sarah, and Frank isn't quite done with amateur poisoner Wanda.

9 pm: Hell's Kitchen.

No, I don't know why I am still watching this train wreck of a culinary competition. On Part 2 of the season finale, Rock and Bonnie square off as they prepare their own menus, and work with unqualified past contestants (including a teary Julia) to win the dubious top prize. Only one will walk away the winner and head chef at a Las Vegas resort that no one will ever visit.

10 pm: Weeds on Showtime.

It's the third season premiere of Showtime's acclaimed comedy, Weeds. On tonight's episode ("Doing the Backstroke"), Celia discovers Nancy's stash and decides to teach her a lesson, while Andy teams up with the Alaskan bounty hunter in order to track down Shane and Kat.

10 pm: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations on Travel Channel.

The third season of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations continues as Tony Bourdain travels to Brazil, where he makes a stop in Sao Paolo to explore the diverse mix of cultures of this cosmopolitan city.

10:30 pm: Californication on Showtime.

It's the series premiere of Showtime's latest drama, Californication, starring David Duchovny. Watch as one-hit wonder novelist Hank hits rock bottom, insults a blind date, and sleeps with a woman with a proclivity for punching him in the face.