Whatever, Whatever: Meatless Meals Fail to Hit the Mark on "Top Chef"

First off, I am not a vegetarian. I've flirted with vegetarianism at certain points in my life (perhaps, most notably, a reaction to dining hall food at university), but I've been a blissfully happy carnivore for the majority of my life and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

That said, vegetarians often get a raw deal in restaurants and sometimes have to deal with chefs that don't understand how to satiate someone's hunger without the inclusion of meat. But vegetarian cuisine can be just as nourishing, comforting, and filling as carnivorous dishes; it's just a matter of replacing protein with protein and making sure that the dish is more than a collection of cooked vegetable side dishes.

Last night's episode of Top Chef ("Meat Natalie") found the cheftestants grappling with the unexpected. After arriving at Tom Colicchio's craftsteak in Las Vegas, they all made a very big assumption and believed that they would be creating steak-based dishes for Tom and his special guest. But Tom's guest was vegetarian actress Natalie Portman and there would be no red meat going out of the kitchen that night.

Top Chef has always been, at its core, about how well the chefs can adapt to whatever is thrown their way, whether that be time elements, a change in plans, or the exclusion of meat altogether when they're cooking in a steakhouse. Some chefs rose to the challenge, producing stunning and inventive dishes, while others this week sank to some new lows.

So how well did they perform? Let's discuss.

This week's Quickfire Challenge had the chefs preparing TV dinners that were meant to be inspired by classic television series, selected by TV Guide editors. After drawing knives to randomly select between seven well-known series from MASH to The Sopranos, the chefs had to deliver a TV dinner-style meal that was not only satisfying and original but also captured the essence of the series.

What did the individual chefs prepare?
  • Bryan (MASH): meatloaf roulade, mashed potato, asparagus, and apple tarte tatin
  • Eli (Gilligan's Island): macadamia nut-encrusted shrimp with sweet potato puree, herb salad, and dessert of cherries and bananas
  • Jennifer (The Flintstones): chicken roulade with garlic cream, pea salad, and carmelized peaches
  • Kevin (The Sopranos): meatballs with polenta, roasted cauliflower, and roasted pears
  • Mike I. (Seinfeld): chicken parmesan with braised swiss chard and cherry pie
  • Mike V. (Cheers): sausage and peppers, mushroom and cheese, warm fruit salad
  • Robin (Sesame Street): burger with egg, crispy kale, carrot salad, and almond-laced cookie

I had a feeling it would come down to either Bryan or Kevin for this one. Both of their dishes not only perfectly fit the brief but also looked absolutely delectable. I really thought it was Bryan's challenge to lose but the judges went with Kevin, who's been on a really fantastic run of late. It was quite apparent that Bryan's near-wins are getting the better of him; he appeared to be seething when Kevin won the Quickfire. No immunity in play but Kevin did win the opportunity to have his winning dish featured as part of Top Chef's frozen dinner line. (It's a product that, I'll be honest, makes me incredibly sad as it seems to be at odds with the series' message about honest, handmade cuisine.)

As for the Elimination Challenge, the chefs had to quickly throw out their conceptualized meat-based dishes to cook solely vegetarian for Natalie Portman and her guests. In a bit of a chance, Portman herself would also be a judge, making it even more imperative that the chefs appealed to her tastes and offered a satisfying and rich meal that didn't involve meat.

Some of the chefs accomplished this better than others. Jennifer's nerves have seriously gotten the better of her and this week she once again skated very dangerously toward elimination, placing in the bottom of the Quickfire and just creatively breaking down during the Elimination Challenge. One major problem among the majority of the dishes is that they didn't quite deliver main courses; several would have worked as beautiful vegetable-based sides but they didn't offer a hunger-sating meal in themselves. And, when you're working with vegetarians, that's a huge issue.

Bryan offered a gorgeous looking artichoke barigoule with confit of shallot, wild asparagus, and fennel puree; it was stunning even without all of the elements he wanted to get onto the plate but it looked like something that might accompany a beautiful steak rather than the main event itself. Same too with Jennifer, who delivered a dish of charred baby eggplant, braised fennel, tomatoes, and verjus nage, which her shaking hands then proceeded to splatter on the guests. I'm really concerned about Jennifer, given her amazing talents; she seems to be all but cracking under the pressure at this point and she can't seem to recover from losses. This was a shockingly underwhelming dish from her and I can only hope that she manages to get it together and regroup... fast.

I'm really not sure what to make of Mike I.'s confusing and bewildering dish of whole roasted leeks with onion jus, baby carrot puree, and fingerling potatoes. He kept referring to the leeks as standing in for the protein so much so that Padma had to make sure that he knew that leeks weren't actually protein. (It was pretty bizarre.) It was such a dish that showed no real vision or execution skills; it was lazy, bland, and just blah. It didn't qualify as a main course or even, really, as a salad, I'd say. Just odd. Likewise, Robin's schizophrenic dish of stuffed squash blossoms, beet carpachio, fresh garbanzo beans, and chermoula was shockingly weird. There was no cohesion to any of the ingredients, no sign of any connective tissue (no pun intended), and no real skill or flair; it was a collection of disparate ingredients thrown onto a plate together and she couldn't articulate what she was going for or how these things related to one another. (How she's still in this competition is beyond me.)

On the top end of the competition, Eli surprised the judges with a beautiful confit of eggplant, lentils, garlic puree, and a radish and herb salad. He understood the brief and offered up a dish that was meaty and rich without containing meat, was stunning to behold, and was comforting and inviting. Kevin's dish, a duo of mushrooms with smoked kale, candied garlic and turnip puree, was smoky, meaty, and richly seductive, enticing the diner with the familiar scents and textures of meat but without any of the actual stuff. Michael once again dazzled the judges with a playful and inventive dish of asparagus salad, Japanese tomato sashimi, and banana polenta, offering an amusing and inspiring take on meat-free dining that had Portman in giggles at one point.

But it was Kevin who once again took home the top honors for his soulful and warm dish, much to the chagrin of Michael Voltaggio, who took the opportunity to knock Kevin's dish as something he would have done "in the second year of culinary school." That might be but it was still a better dish than yours, Michael. No need for sour grapes. Kevin has proven once again that he's an extremely strong contender, despite the fact that the Voltaggio Brothers seem to underestimate him time and time again. Here's to hoping that he makes it all the way to the final round.

On the other end, Jennifer, Mike I., and Robin found themselves before the judges' table. I really thought that this would be the week that Robin would be going home and, AGAIN, I was sweating bullets that Jen would be told to pack her knives. But the judges managed to surprise me by keeping Robin around for another week (WHY!?!) and sending home the supremely arrogant Mike, who failed to see why his dish failed to impress and couldn't quite wrap his head around why he was in the bottom (the "whatever, whatever" of this title). I wasn't all that impressed with Mike throughout this season but I do think he's a better chef than Robin. Let's just hope she's the next to go...

In two weeks on Top Chef ("Strip Around the World"), the day begins with a Quickfire Challenge that tasks the chefs to create the perfect breakfast in bed; Nigella Lawson stops by as this week's guest judge.

And here's a look at the Top Chef reunion cookoff coming up next week...

Top Chef Preview: An Angry Dinner:



Top Chef Preview: Marcel vs. Everyone:

Tears and Recriminations: The Ugly Truth (or Lack Thereof) on the "Flipping Out" Reunion

Cameras are funny things. They're meant to capture the reality of a moment but there's something inherently artificial about them being there in the first place. Reality television isn't exactly reality as it exists; it's an edited-together version of actual events, threaded together into a cohesive narrative for television. It gives us an image of reality but not the whole picture.

The reason I'm bringing this up is that I'm still in shock about last night's dramatic and intensely stressful Flipping Out: Season Three Reunion on Bravo.

While the reunion special brought up a number of intriguing (and in some cases hilarious) plot strands from the third season of Flipping Out including "rollover Number Two minutes," Roomba (dubbed a "big bitch" by Zoila), the poisoned bacon, and the status of Valley Oak, the main set piece in the episode was a confrontation between Jeff Lewis and his former business partner Ryan Brown.

It was, shall we say, heated. The former best friends--who hadn't spoken in the four months since Jeff walked out of Chloe's birthday party in the season finale--attacked, defended, and deflected and ultimately reached another stalemate, unable to convince the other of their perspective.



It's impossible to say who is telling the truth but it's clear that there are some mightily bruised feelings on both sides. And it's also clear that Jeff believes with all of his heart that Ryan deliberately misled people and siphoned business away from him via some rather shady dealings including a "smokescreen" website, sponsored links on Google, and other misleading practices. Ryan, for his part, vehemently denies any wrongdoing, saying that he can't apologize for anything as he hasn't done anything.

Which brings me back to my original point about the cameras. To say that watching the duo air their dirty laundry on camera was uncomfortable is a massive understatement of the highest order. Would it have been better for Jeff and Ryan to attempt to talk without the prying eyes of the cameras (and host Andy Cohen)? Perhaps. But it was also the cameras themselves that led to the breakdown in their relationship and to their coming together one final time.

Putting aside the accusations that Jeff has very publicly made against Ryan for a second, things were incredibly mismanaged in the way that Jeff went about confronting his former business partner. For one, he should have never made those accusations on national television without speaking to Ryan and attempting to find out the truth first. It does, as Ryan was indicating on the reunion special, create a dangerous situation as Ryan's very reputation is being damaged in front of an audience of millions. Likewise, Jeff opted to engage both his father and "long-suffering assistant" Jenni in conversations about his suspicions... on camera.

Furthermore, the confrontation on last night's reunion took a turn for the nasty, with both sides making accusations and bringing up information that the audience shouldn't really be privy to, such as Ryan's monthly mortgage or the fact that Dale isn't working (though we did know that: he's in culinary school). Ryan, in turn, attempted to paint a portrait of Jeff as an unstable, paranoid, and delusional individual who thrives on tearing down his friends for amusement and stated that clients should know who "the real Jeff Lewis" is.

The truth of the matter is that we don't know what actually happened between the two, just as we still don't know a season later what actually happened between Jenni and her ex-husband Chris Elwood. We see one side of the equation on reality series and we, as an audience, only see part of the truth. Do some of Ryan's choices seem unethical? Based on Jeff's perspective, yes. The matter of the Google sponsored links still hasn't been dealt with head-on and Ryan didn't deny that he paid for sponsored links to Jeff's name. So will we ever know what really went down? Probably not. Given Jeff's televised accusations, Ryan would be crazy to do anything other than defend himself and vigorously deny any wrongdoing. After all, his professional and personal reputation depend upon it.

What we do know at the end of the day is that these two did, and possibly still do, care for one another. The pain and anguish that both people feel is palpable. Ryan moved on from Jeff a long time ago; he has a husband and a baby now and naturally their relationship would change. He says that he's stuck by Jeff and supported him. Jeff says that he misses the old Ryan, "ugly haircut" and all. But it's not enough to mend the massive rift between them and I don't know that anything can at this point.

As stressful as the confrontation was, it was the sight of Jenni struggling to hold back tears that brought home the message for me. Regardless of what might or might not have happened, things have changed, perhaps irrevocably, in the various relationships depicted on Flipping Out. And that, cameras and all, is painfully real.

Channel Surfing: TNT Close to Deal for "Southland," Bravo Hungry for "Top Chef: Just Desserts," "24," NBC Picks Up Three Series, and More

Welcome to your Monday morning television briefing.

The Hollywood Reporter's Nellie Andreeva is reporting that TNT is very close to a deal with Warner Bros. Television to acquire cancelled NBC cop drama Southland. The deal, which is now said to appear "likely," would save the series--which produced six new installments for a second season at NBC--from cancellation, after NBC axed the series before launching the series' second season. (Hollywood Reporter)

Bravo has ordered a spinoff of its culinary competition series Top Chef entitled Top Chef: Just Desserts, which will air next year and focus on a showdown between pastry chefs in a weekly competition. Top Chef producers Magical Elves are on board for the spinoff, which will begin casting this week. No host or judges have been determined yet for the series, which will air in between cycles of Top Chef and Top Chef Masters. (Variety)

The Wrap's Josef Adalian takes a look at what appear to be the first two promos for Day Eight of FOX's 24, which have been leaked onto the internet. (The Wrap's TVMoJoe)

NBC has given full-season pickups to comedies Community and Parks and Recreation and drama series Mercy, bumping the episodic total to 22 installments for the trio this season. (Televisionary)

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello talks to incoming Grey's Anatomy actress Kim Raver about her upcoming multiple-episode story arc on the ABC medical drama. "She was in Iraq with Owen," Raver told Ausiello about her character, Teddy. "She’s a cardiac surgeon. She’s really good at what she does. There’ll be some interesting stuff between Teddy, Cristina and Owen." (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

NBC is developing two new projects, including drama Nola Rising, about the unlikely partnership between a struggling private investigator and a charismatic ex-con who is a spiritual medium as they "help solve the problems of New Orleans citizens, living or dead." Project, from Universal Media Studios and Yellow Brick Road, is written by Medium's Diane Ademu-John and executive produced by Teri Weinberg. The Peacock is also developing hybrid comedy Ordinary People, about a twenty-something African-American married couple who are "fast-tracked professionals with four kids," whose lives are changed when the husband becomes a columnist for Rolling Stone and begins to work out of their house. Project, from Universal Media Studios, is executive produced by Kenya Barris and Scott Stuber. (Hollywood Reporter)

Warner Bros. is in final talks to pick up an untitled animated comedy pitch about a peacock from writers Austin Winsberg and Heath Corson. The studio is keeping the plot firmly under wraps for the project, which will be executive produced by Underground Film & Television's Trevor Engelson and Nicholas Osborne. (Variety)

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is reporting that David Costabile (Damages, Flight of the Conchords) has been cast in at least four episodes of Season Three of AMC's Breaking Bad, where he will play Gale, the new assistant of Bryan Cranston's Walt. "Described as an eager student and a brilliant chemist, Gale is the antithesis of Jessie (Aaron Paul) in that he’s more interested in the magic of chemistry than getting rich," writes Ausiello. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

HBO has renewed drama series In Treatment for a third season. (Televisionary)

FOX has given a script order to an untitled single-camera comedy about a team of twenty-something computer geniuses who crack computer security systems. Project, from Sony Pictures Television and Happy Madison, is written by Adam F. Goldberg (Four Christmases), who will executive produce with Seth Gordon, himself attached to direct should the project be ordered to pilot. (Variety)

TV Land has given cast-contingent pilot orders to two projects. The first, comedy Hot in Cleveland, revolves around three female friends from Los Angeles, each in her forties, who end up in Cleveland but decide to stay "when they realize the locals consider them glamorous." (Editor: Flashbacks to 30 Rock's "Cleveland" episode.) Project, written by Suzanne Martin (Frasier), will be executive produced by Hazy Mills Prods.' Sean Hayes and Todd Milliner. The second, Retired at 35, about a wealthy businessman who leaves Manhattan to settle in his parents' Florida retirement home. Project was written by Chris Case (Reba), who will executive produce with Mindy Schultheis and Michael Hanel. (Variety)

Mad Men's Sam Page has been cast in a recurring role on ABC Family's Greek, where he will play Joel, "a smart and accessible local campaign manager for a congresswoman" who worked on Capitol Hill with the father of Dilshad Vadaria's Rebecca. Page is set to appear in Season Four of Greek. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Fineman Entertainment, the shingle behind FX's upcoming drama series Lights Out, has hired former ABC executive Ray Ricord as VP of development. (Variety)

Stay tuned.

Just Desserts: Restaurant Wars on "Top Chef"

Ah, Restaurant Wars. My favorite Top Chef elimination challenge got even more heated last night with a showdown between the two teams that had to be seen to be believed.

While you read my advance review of last night's episode of Top Chef ("Restaurant Wars"), now that the episode has aired, there are still a few things left to to discuss that I couldn't until now.

For one, I was completely shocked to see just how poorly the blue team performed in last night's badge of honor challenge (or to quote Tom Colicchio, "badge of courage"). Was it overconfidence? Nerves? Lack of support from front of house? Or all of the above, really? I'm not entirely sure what went down in the blue team's kitchen in their upscale eatery, Mission, while I was certain that everything would implode in the red team's kitchen, especially with confrontation between the Voltaggio brothers an inevitability and the fractious paring of Eli and Robin.

So what exactly happened and how did the chefs perform? Let's discuss.

Before we get to Restaurant Wars itself, I want to reiterate my comments from the other day that this week's Quickfire Challenge has to be one of the best Quickfires to date, as the chefs were forced to cook relay-style, with each chef getting ten minutes in the kitchen before handing off the metaphorical baton to the next chef... without uttering a word about what they were doing. Oh, did I mention that they'd be blindfolded until it was their turn?

To say that this was complicated is a major understatement. Relay-cooking would be tricky at any time but each chef walked into a dish that was already underway and had to quickly adapt to what was in front of them, try to decipher the intent of the chef(s) before them, and execute a dish from the elements assembled that would hopefully build on what came before. To watch our cheftestants do just that was in a word: stunning.

The Red Team--Bryan, Michael V., Robin, and Eli--made a pan roasted New York strip with whipped miso, avocado puree, nasturtium salad, and pickled vegetables. I have to say that they worked quite well together as well, with Bryan ably predicting how Michael would best be able to finish the dish and preparing several elements for his brother to follow through with. But while an admirable effort, it didn't quite match up to what was going on on the other side of the Top Chef kitchen.

The Blue Team--consisting of Jennifer, Laurine, Mike I., and Kevin--prepared a pan-seared sablefish with sauteed mushrooms, ginger-shiitake-shrimp broth, and a radish salad with yuzu vinaigrette. (Poor Jennifer seemed to be all nerves in this episode, calling the sablefish "trout" here in front of guest judge Rick Moonen.) The team was able to follow through on what was set out for them and the credit really goes to Jennifer for creating that amazing stock in the first place, which made the dish sing. No surprise that they took home the win, which included a $10,000 chip. But rather than take the cash, the quartet decided to let it ride on the hopes of winning $10K apiece in the elimination challenge, if they won. Hmmm....

For their elimination challenge, the chefs would remain in their teams and would open up individual restaurant spaces in Rick Moonen's rm seafood space in Las Vegas. Due to the fact that the location was already a fully functional (and gorgeous) restaurant, the chefs wouldn't have to deal with the issues of decor and table settings as they had in previous years. As I noted in my advance review, I think that this was a smart move on the part of the producers; it removes the emphasis on an unrealistic complete overhaul of a blank space and puts it squarely on the cuisine. But the chefs would still be responsible for front of house and training their staff... and whoever was selected to man the front room would still be responsible for conceptualizing an individual dish as well.

So what did the two kitchens prepare? Let's discuss.

Red Team:
  • Eli: smoked arctic char with beet sauce, horseradish sour cream, and crispy potatoes
  • Michael: pressed chicken and calamari "noodles," tomato confit, and fennel salad
  • Michael: cod with parsley sauce, billi-bi croquettes, and zucchini tenderloin
  • Bryan: duo of beef with braised short ribs and prime NY strip with sauce matignon and sunchoke puree.
  • Robin: pear pithivier with intense vanilla bean ice cream, frangipane, almond praline, and elderflower syrup
  • Bryan: flexible chocolate ganache with spearmint ice cream and chocolate tuiles

Blue Team:
  • Mike I.: skillet asparagus with six-minute egg
  • Mike I.: arctic char tartare
  • Jennifer: trout with brown buter emulsion, hazelnut, and braised endive
  • Jennifer: Alaskan halibut with muscles and clams and saffron ailoi in bouillabaisse consomme
  • Laurine: lamb with carrot jam and green bean salad with herb dressing and morel mushroom sauce
  • Kevin: pork three-ways with maple-glazed pork belly, pork sausage wrapped in cabbage, cornmeal mousseline, and red-eye gravy

I knew right away just from glancing at the menu that this would likely be a very uneven battle. I understand the Blue Team's position that dessert is always tricky but what they needed to realize was that they were cooking not only for the judges but for their restaurant's patrons as well and after a meal like that, they do expect dessert of some kind. The Blue Team realized this and offered not one but TWO dessert dishes for the end of their meal; I think it was a wise choice. Desserts have led teams to lose Restaurant Wars in the past but dessert is also a critical and crucial element of any tasting menu. To decide not to put it on at all was a major oversight and blunder.

Mike's first courses were totally outshown in every respect by Michael's genius pressed chicken and calamari "noodles" dish (which netted him the overall win and, in an uncharacteristic display of generosity, distributed his $10K prize among his team). Asparagus and a six-minute egg? Really? At this point in the competition? Adding insult to injury, his artic char tartare was bland, underseasoned, and just dull. Unless you ate every bite with every single ingredient on the plate, it had no flavor whatsoever.

But even Mike's poor showing was nothing compared to Jennifer's unusual lackluster performance. I was stunned to see her cooking her shellfish to order in a course where she was also responsible for another warm dish. And she herself was more than chagrined that her brown butter was broken when it arrived at the judges' table. I was convinced that she would be going home, which would have made me chuck my television set out of the window. (Yes, Jennifer going home would have led to some serious destruction.)

Kevin was responsible for that truly gorgeous pork dish, which the judges were incredibly pleased with. It was ambitious, confident, and beautifully presented. But Kevin also really undercooked that lamb dish that Laurine concocted, which surprised the hell out of me. His precision and execution has been top-notch this entire competition so it was really odd to see him mangle the hell out of that dish.

Of course, Laurine didn't send the dishes back as she promised Tom she would if she was dissatisfied with how they looked at the pass. Her mismanagement of the front of house was appallingly bad. Was it the reason the Blue Team lost the challenge? It certainly added to it and made things even worse. (Look at the poise and charm of Eli in the Blue Team's dining room and compare it to Laurine's sullen, harried, and terrified behavior here.) I knew that it would come down to the judges choosing between Laurine and Jennifer, which had me freaking out that one of my picks for the Final Four could be booted only halfway through the competition.

But it was Laurine who would be packing her knives after all. I'm glad that the judges did the smart thing and kept the supremely talented Jennifer around. Yes, we've been told in the past that you're only as good as your last dish but they clearly see that Jennifer has talent, passion, and vision and there's no way anyone could keep Laurine around and boot Jennifer.

Whew.

What did you think of this week's episode? Where did the Blue Team go wrong? Were you stunned that Robin was called out for praise for her pear pithivier? Who would you have sent home? Discuss.

Next week on Top Chef ("Meat Natalie"), TV Guide editors stop by to complicate the chefs' latest Quickfire Challenge with a list of shows to use as inspiration for "TV Dinners," the chefs are tasked with preparing dinner for Natalie Portman and her friends at craftsteak, Tom Colicchio's Las Vegas restaurant. But, as always, there's a catch.

Top Chef Preview: TV Dinners:



Top Chef Preview: It's Natalie Portman:

Revolution is the Mission: An Advance Review of "Restaurant Wars" on "Top Chef"

There are few series more stressful (in the best possible way) than Bravo's culinary competition series Top Chef.

And there are few challenges that are more stressful that that of the pressure-intensive Restaurant Wars, a highlight of each and every season in which the chefs are split into two groups of four and told to open a restaurant in a matter of hours, planning everything from the menu to the decor and service.

On other series, this could be the culmination of the entire season, but on Top Chef, it's the halfway point, with the eight remaining chefs forced to not only participate in a team challenge (with their individual dishes either making or breaking their continued participation in the competition) but also to work their station, stay true to their vision, feed a dining room full of hungry customers, and turn out inventive, imaginative, and delicious dishes. It should be a cakewalk for these talented chefs, many of whom work on the line professionally, but it's always filled with chaos, confusion, and often calamity.

This season's truly sensational episode of "Restaurant Wars" airs tonight on Top Chef but I was able to take an early look at the episode and feel that it is hands-down the best (and most intensive) Restaurant Wars yet, pitting the two teams in a showdown from which only one will remain victorious. So who triumphs? That would be telling. While I won't spoil the outcome of the episode (you'll have to watch tonight), there are a few (minor-spoilery) things I have to say about this year's fan-favorite challenge.

As if Restaurant Wars wasn't enough to throw at the chefs, this week's Quickfire Challenge must be one of the most disorienting and difficult of any season. Again, I don't want to say too much but I will say that it (A) involves blindfolds and (B) really puts the pressure on the chefs to adapt to some unknown variables... and quickly. For the viewer, it's a real treat to watch as it really gets into the mindspace of the individual chefs and allows the viewers to follow the process of concept and execution on a scale we haven't seen so far on the series.

As for Restaurant Wars, this season's big challenge has some minor differences to other seasons but each of them is a step in the right direction. Gone for example, is the onus of the chefs to design the decor of the space and purchase plates, etc. I get what the producers were going for with that aspect of the challenge but it was an unrealistic and unneeded pressure to put on them with such a tight timeframe. Yes, decor and place settings are important parts of a restaurant's overall atmosphere and concept but when they have limited cash, limited time, and limited access, the raw spaces are inevitably rather cheesy-looking. (After all, it's Top Chef, not Top Design, though in future seasons I could see producers pairing the teams with interior designers to transform the raw spaces.)

And so this year's Restaurant Wars removes some of the pressure of decor by setting the action inside one of Rick Moonen's pre-existing restaurants, which has two dining rooms, two kitchens, and two very different essences on its two levels. The move places the emphasis squarely on the food and the service itself rather than bread plates and napkin rings.

As for the teams' performances, it's truly remarkable to see how well they do with this crucial challenge. With Elimination at stake (as well as, um, other considerations), it's imperative that the two teams dazzle the judges with well-executed dishes while also pleasing the diners. But that's not exactly what happens on tonight's episode. There are some major screw-ups, some surprising downfalls, and a general excess of stress, nerves, and bad decisions. (Also look for some major sparks to fly between the two Voltaggio brothers, both in the Top Chef kitchen and at the house; the competition between the two siblings is heating up in some very nasty ways.)

When the chips fall, you might be surprised by who performs well and who doesn't. To say that this episode had me on the edge of my seat would be a glaring understatement. It's more truthful to say that my heartbeat was pounding through my chest in a way that you might mistakenly think that I was on the line in one of these kitchens.

All in all, tonight's fantastic installment is intense, stunning, and surprising. All of the things that really go into making Top Chef the addictive thrill ride that it is week after week. Just be sure to eat ahead of time and prepare to be spellbound in more ways than one.

Top Chef: Las Vegas Preview: Blindfolded Relay Race:



Top Chef: Las Vegas Preview: Michael V. vs. Robin:



Top Chef airs tonight at 10 pm ET/PT on Bravo.

Leaping Lizards: Baby Drama on the Season Finale of "Flipping Out"

And just like that, Season Three of Flipping Out came to a close last night. Not with a bang but with Jeff walking off of Ryan's property during Chloe's third birthday party, with what seemed like a heavy heart.

I already alluded to much of the action in Flipping Out's third season finale ("Baby Boom") via my advance review of the episode, but now that the episode has aired, I can speak a little more freely about what actually went down this week.

I do feel for Jeff. Given the recent problems in his relationship with business partner Ryan Brown, Jeff is beset by a swirl of change in his professional and personal life: Ryan and his family might be moving to Santa Barbara, Jeff could be selling his own home, and there's a sort of biological clock ticking over the action, a sound that's all the more loud thanks to Jett's news that his girlfriend is expecting a baby.

Granted, Jeff isn't one for tact. (That's certainly apparent from the last three seasons of the series.) But I did think it was a little extreme and presumptuous that he would ask Ryan for access to the twenty or so frozen embryos that he and partner Dale have on ice. Yes, Jeff wants a child and he's so enamored of Chloe that it would be nice to have one of her siblings as his own child but really Jeff? Asking your estranged business partner and former boyfriend if you could take (or buy) one of his biologically-derived embryos was crossing a line that didn't need to be crossed, especially as Ryan himself was thoroughly creeped out by the entire conversation.

I find it hard to imagine Jeff raising a child on his own. After all, children are messy and uncontrollable and Jeff's entire life is based around order and tidiness. Which isn't to say that he would be bad parent but I think it's different raising a child than it is taking Chloe for a meal here or there or throwing her an elaborate birthday party.

After all, this is the same man who couldn't control his laughter when he found out that a client and her son walked into her house after it had been spider-bombed and they began throwing up repeatedly. (I get nervous laughter but Jeff brought a whole new meaning to that here.)

Likewise, I thought it was beyond sweet of Jenni to dress up as a lizard, green face and all, and perform a birthday rap (which I can't get out of my head) for Chloe. Jeff made a comment that Jenni will never met anybody if she dresses up like a lizard but really I couldn't help but feel a little heartbroken for Jenni. She's clearly in her element with kids and clearly adores them but given her recent relationship woes, a child of her own seems unlikely right now.

Was Jeff serious when he said he was considering hiring Jenni as a surrogate mother for his child? It's unlikely that he was but perhaps there was a kernel of truth there. Still, I'd tell Jenni to run as far away as she could if he actually seriously asked her. It's hard enough working for Jeff Lewis when you're not carrying his child, after all.

Ultimately, Season Three of Flipping Out was a fantastic look into the lives of Jeff and his eccentric band of employees and friends. I'm going to miss these guys but I'm also very much looking forward to next week's reunion special, where we'll get some answers to some dangling plot threads from this season. I have a feeling it's going to be quite heated.

What did you think of last night's season finale? Was Jeff wrong to ask Ryan about the embryos? Is there any hope of reconciliation for the two of them? Discuss.

Next week on Flipping Out ("Reunion Special"), Jeff and his crew reassemble to discuss the dramas of Season Three. Look for some major sparks to fly as Jeff and Ryan's troubled friendship is likely to be one of the focal points of the reunion.

Baby Crazy: An Advance Review of Tonight's Season Finale of "Flipping Out"

Over the past three seasons, I've waxed enthusiastically about the charms of Bravo's unscripted series Flipping Out, which wraps up its third season tonight.

Nominally about OCD-afflicted real estate investor Jeff Lewis and the quirky employees of his spec business, the series is in fact a deft portrait of a meticulous businessman and the eccentric individuals that he surrounds himself with. It also happens to be one of the funniest programs, scripted or unscripted, on television, thanks to the biting sarcasm of Lewis, the general awesomeness of his indefatigable right-hand-woman Jenni Pulos, and his surly housekeeper Zoila.

While I find myself laughing aloud (sometimes until it hurts) each week, every now and then a rare beat of genuine emotion makes its way into the mix on Flipping Out, lending an aura of poignancy and heartache to an otherwise sunny (if, thanks to Jeff, stressful) series.

I had the opportunity to watch an early copy of tonight's season finale ("Baby Boom") and found it to be both hysterical and heartbreaking in equal measure, leaving the viewer with no doubt that the story of Jeff Lewis, Jenni, and Zoila still has a hell of a lot of mileage left in it. (I have no doubt that the series will be renewed for a fourth season.)

I don't want to give too much away about this fantastic season ender but I will say that it's potentially a time of major change for Jeff Lewis, as he ponders whether to sell Valley Oak and get his spec business back off the ground. Still haunted by suspicions that business partner Ryan Brown had siphoned business from him via some rather shady goings-on, the specter of distrust hovers over the action even as Jeff throws an elaborate and over the top third birthday party for Ryan's daughter Chloe.

Jeff and Ryan's friendship has been one of the backbones of the series since the very beginning and having them not speaking puts a bit of strain on everyone involved, given Jeff's desire to remain a part of Chloe's life. His efforts to give her a dream birthday party can be seen as a bit of a gesture toward reconciliation but he's refusing to let go of the nagging suspicion that's eating away at him.

Still, that doesn't stop Jeff from making a jaw-dropping request of Ryan that will have many people questioning his judgment... just as Ryan himself does. I don't want to spoil it but I will say that it connects in a way with Jeff's sudden (and growing) desire to have a child as he quickly approaches forty.

It's this desire and his relationship with little Chloe that add a patina of sadness and despondency to the episode, particularly in the final moments of the season. With Ryan considering moving his family to Santa Barbara, there's a sense that everything Jeff knows, his entire support system, might be crumbling down around his ears.

Of course, there's always the adorable and hilarious Jenni by his side. Providing one of the funniest moments of the season, Jenni's storyline nicely dovetails into Jeff's, offering another affecting look at someone who is at home with children but lacks one of her own. Jenni's quest to find a partner, after the dissolution of her marriage last season, has been a throughline this season but her donning of a lizard suit at Chloe's birthday is both a triumphant moment of joy and a depressing reminder of how hard it is to find love in this world.

With the curtain about to fall on the fantastic third season of Flipping Out, I'm really going to miss the eccentric gang at Jeff Lewis' office and tonight's season finale left me hanging on an unexpected note of melancholy that I just can't shake off. Here's to hoping that Bravo brings us more Flipping Out... and soon.

Flipping Out Preview: Lowering Valley Oak:



Flipping Out Preview: Jenni the Surrogate:



Flipping Out Preview: Buena Park is Done:



Flipping Out's third season finale airs tonight at 10 pm ET/PT on Bravo.

Porcine Pleasures: All About Pigs and Pinot on "Top Chef"

I love pinot noir so this week's episode of Top Chef ("Pigs and Pinot") would have already been a treat but the producers stacked things further in my favor by adding in the pork element, courtesy of Charlie Palmer.

There's a rich chocolate and coffee-spiked earthiness to pinot that makes it the ideal red wine for me; it can be full-bodied without knocking you to the ground like some Cabs and it stands up well to pairings.

Which was essentially the theme of this week's Top Chef, which had the chefs pairing not one but two dishes this week. The Quickfire Challenge was a hellishly tricky one (in my estimation, anyway), with the contestants tasked with pairing a dish with a particular Alexia snack. Food and alcohol pairings have proven difficult for some contestants so food and snack pairing? Even trickier. But it was the Elimination Challenge where the pressure was truly on: they'd have to pair a pork-based dish (the part of the pig decided by blindly drawing knives) with a specific French or New World pinot.

So how did the chefs fare this week? Let's discuss.

As I said before, this week's Quickfire Challenge? No walk in the park. Besides for the obvious time constraints, there was the little issue of working in those snacks--waffle-cut fries, onion strips, etc.--into the dish and having it feel complimentary and not disconnected at the same time.

Here's what the chefs offered for their snack pairings:
  • Ash: a chilled cucumber soup with creme fraiche, crab, and red pepper
  • Bryan: seared rib eye with picked onion, sauteed mushrooms, and chile peppers
  • Eli: potato clam salad with fennel, celery and white truffle sauce
  • Jennifer: sauteed pork chop with tomato sauce and feta
  • Kevin: warm bean and confit tomato salad with fresh herbs and Southern-style creamed corn
  • Laurine: swordfish with spinach, asparagus, and fava bean puree
  • Mike I: chilaquiles
  • Michael Voltaggio: tuna tartare with avocado, pickled onions, and jalapenos
  • Robin: sweet corn panna cotta with avocado mousseline

A mixed bag, really. Some of the chefs excelled at this particular challenge, with Eli landing the win (and immunity) for his masterful preparation of a potato clam salad. Eli's been a bit of a wild card throughout the competition; he's flown pretty far below the radar most the of time but every now and then he has a well-crafted dish that stands out. I do think he will be a tremendously talented chef... in a few years' time. Kevin always turns out a gorgeous plate, so I wasn't surprised that he and Bryan were singled out for praise.

I felt for Jennifer. She's hands-down one of--if not the--most talented chef in the bunch and she cracked under the pressure this week. Her dish was well conceptualized but she cooked those chops way too early and the pork just dried out completely. Perhaps had Padma and guest judge Charlie Palmer made their way to her station first, she would have been okay but, of course, they got to her last. Sigh.

Robin? What is there to say about Robin? I know that if I were in that house or that kitchen, she would drive me up the wall. There's chatty and then there's verbal diarrhea and Robin just can't seem to shut up for thirty seconds, prattling on endlessly about minutiae that clearly no one else there cares about. I don't think it's an age issue; she's just so over the top talkative that it's draining to everyone around her. And the worst part is that she doesn't seem to think she's to blame at all. I really, really, really hoped that she would pack her knives. She's clearly overstayed her welcome in all aspects.

Moving onto the Elimination Challenge, I was very interested to see not only what the chefs would prepare as they not only had to pair their pork dishes with specific wines but also create 150 tasting portions for Charlie Palmer's Pigs and Pinot event. Not an easy task, to say the least.

Bryan once again pulled off a succulent dish, creating a mouth-watering plate of braised pork spare ribs with parsnip puree and mostarda, which he served with a 2007 Rochioli Pinot Noir. And the simplicity of Kevin's dish--a pork leg pate with a mushroom and hazelnut salad and pickled cherries--served with the 2006 Sokol Blosser Dundee Hills Pinor Noir from Oregon belied the amazing depth of flavor that he was able to pull off. No surprise that both of them had two of the best dishes of the evening and I was thrilled to see Kevin walk away with the top spot. Well done.

Jennifer offered up a gorgeous soy-braised pork belly with a salad of tomatoes, black olives, apples, celery, and truffles that she paired with a 2005 Chanson Clos de Beze Pinot Noir. (She more than redeemed herself for her earlier performance in the Quickfire.) And Michael Voltaggio stunned the judges with an expertly crafted dish of root beer-braised pork cheek with a steamed bun with truffle and a cherry-vanilla bean reduction, paired with a 2006 Gunvalson Pinot Noir. Loved the fact that the four top-scorers have also been my picks for the Final Four since the first episode of the season. (Fingers crossed it plays out that way in reality.)

Eli's dish, a braised pork belly with raw salad of celery and fennel and roasted carrot puree and paired with the 2007 Terlato Family Pinot Noir, was also a hit with the judges but it didn't quite pair well with the wine or compare to the pork belly dish that Jennifer created. (No surprise there.) Mike I. offered up a pork shoulder stuffed with prosciutto, dates, and pine nuts and an orange blossom yogurt sauce, which he paired with the 2005 Wairau River Pinot Noir. Far too orangey and acidic, it wasn't the judges' favorite dish but it also wasn't the worst they had that evening.

Laurine's pork butt rillettes over arugula salad with a golden raisin and pearl onion chutney on top. Ick. I love rillettes and this was not rillettes at all. It looked vile and was not prepared as one would rillettes, poaching the meat in its own fat and then potting it with a layer of fat on top. Looking at it actually made me nauseous.

Robin's dish of brined center-cut pork chop with a roulade of sweet potato, fennel, and apple and a sour cherry-coffee sauce was a mess on the plate. The colors all seeped into one another, creating an unappetizing and slimy-looking dish that just looked like something you might encounter on an airline. Poorly executed, poorly conceptualized, and just poorly done, the dish had no focus whatsoever and failed to showcase the pork at all, offering just a wafer-thin sliver of meat. Color me confused.

I was just baffled by Ash's overcooked dish, a chilled pork tenderloin with a corn and cherry salad, that he paired with a 2007 Standord Pinot Noir. I was really speechless, especially as his first instinct was to do a warm tenderloin with jack-infused polenta, which would have been delicious. He's been a victim of his own second-guessing for the entirety of the season; I haven't been impressed with any of his dishes yet he always seem to believe that he should land in the winner's circle. When you look at the blandness of his dish, both in terms of flavor, seasoning, and presentation, that seems a total impossibility.

Honestly, I would have sent home all three of them if the decision had been up to me. They've consistently been the three lowest-scoring chefs these past few weeks and their performance in this week's challenge was just shocking. Given the editing and the focus on Robin throughout the episode, I thought it would be her to get the boot or Laurine for that ghastly attempt at rillettes that Food & Wine's Dana Cowin compared to "cat food."

But no, it was Ash who packed his knives. Granted, his performances has often been shockingly bad and he's squeaked by elimination many times this season but I was surprised to see him leave over Robin or Laurine, both of whom just made amateurish mistakes this round. Hmmm...

What did you think of this week's episode? Would you have sent home Robin or Laurine over Ash? Discuss.

Next week on Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Restaurant Wars"), the much-lauded or dreaded (depending on your perspective) Restaurant Wars round returns, this time in a pre-existing restaurant, and the chefs will have to mind their details, because the guest judge, Rich Moonen, owns the restaurant.

Top Chef: Las Vegas Preview: Blindfolded Relay Race:



Top Chef: Las Vegas Preview: Michael V. vs. Robin:

Clowns, Drag Queens, and Homeless People: Jeff's Fears Loom Large on "Flipping Out"

Throughout its run, Bravo's reality series Flipping Out has always offered some humor along with its drama but last night's episode ("Spirit of the Land") brought the series into a much darker place that hasn't really been seen since the surprising breakup of Jenni's marriage last season.

It was an episode that was filled with hurt feelings, high emotions, and a surprising death and, rather strangely, despite the fact that I was laughing only minutes before, I too was affected by the passing of homeless person Spirit, who lived on the salon property of Jeff Lewis' client Chaz.

We all know that Jeff Lewis doesn't deal well with emotion; his go-to reaction is often sarcasm and humor and that was no different last night. Considering he had suggested that they put Spirit out in the driveway with the trash, Jeff was at first seemingly unaffected by the homeless woman's death. (Did we ever actually learn if Spirit really was a woman or if that was a fiction of Chaz's?) But it soon became clear that he was struck to his core by her passing, as he had done a 180 degree transformation with Chaz and had even suggested improving her living accommodations prior to her death. It wasn't quite in the same outward fashion as Jenni, who burst into tears upon seeing Spirit's things thrown out and her home the site of a memorial candle or two, but it was clear that her death had made Jeff think about his own mortality.

Those feelings in turn also stirred up some unresolved feelings about his friendship with Ryan and he attempted to call his former business partner to try and patch things up. They didn't end up connecting but I do wonder if this has made Jeff change his point of view about Ryan and about breaking off their friendship. Jenni made a point about Spirit dying alone and I think that thought terrifies Jeff beyond belief. In losing Ryan, he clearly lost a component of his family and part of his support system. Can these two patch things up? Only time will tell.

Jeff also had to contend with the bruised feelings of Zoila who turned on house assistant Jett and attempted to put him in his place after she experienced an odd jealousy over Jeff's purchase of a Roomba. It's funny because the way that Zoila's been presented this season makes it appear as though she's not doing as much work as she used to do so I can sympathize with Jeff but I don't think he quite anticipated what sort of reaction the Roomba would engender within Zoila, nor did he expect that she would take Jett's half-in-jest comments (come on, there was some truth to his insinuations) to heart. Zoila might be able to give as good as she gets and stand up to Jeff in a way that no one else can but doesn't mean that she won't eventually crack after one too many snide remarks or haughty demands.

I have to say that Sarah is working out quite well at Jeff Lewis' office; I didn't initially expect her to stick around as long as she has but she's actually blended in quite well and might even offer Jeff some much needed human resources stability. Which worries me about Jenni... after last week's confrontation about her auditions, etc. it seemed as though things were coming to a head between them over her lack of focus on his business. (According to Jeff, anyway.) With Sarah in the mix, it might be time for Jenni to fly the nest as he's in good hands (and I do love her relationship with the oft-missing design intern Trace) or maybe for Jeff to reward the seven and a half years she's worked for him by promoting her. Or giving her a desk of her own, perhaps.

The episode was really nicely edited, with a haunting juxtaposition between Jenni and Jeff's argument over giving homeless people money with the aforementioned death of Spirit, Chaz's "good luck charm" who has lived on the property since 1968. I have to agree with Jeff that well-heeled clients don't want to look out of a bay window while they're paying a fortune to have their hair done and see a homeless person sleeping there but it was clear that Chaz truly believed in the spiritual yarn he spun Jeff about finding Spirit. Part of dealing with clients means having to hold your tongue, Mr. Lewis, even if you think they're in cloud cuckoo land.

But what's really sticking with me after last night's episode are the scenes for next week's season finale, which seem to point towards Jeff wanting to adopt a child. It's a scenario that has me extremely worried and anxious but it's also one that I can't wait to see play out on screen. If only next Tuesday would come sooner!

What did you think of this week's episode? Was Jeff right to try to move Spirit? Is Chaz absolutely bananas? Is there any chance of a reconciliation between Jeff and Ryan? Discuss.

Next week on the season finale of Flipping Out ("Baby Boom"), Jeff takes on a new client in Toluca Woods and attempts to rekindle his friendship with Ryan.

Flipping Out Preview: Lowering Valley Oak:



Flipping Out Preview: Jenni the Surrogate:



Flipping Out Preview: Buena Park is Done:

Quick Take: Season Three of Bravo's "Million Dollar Listing"

Ordinarily, I wouldn't be the target viewer of Bravo's real estate reality series Million Dollar Listing, which is as much about the housing market as it is the personal vendettas between the three young would-be moguls jockeying for power and prestige in the cutthroat world of Los Angeles real estate.

But the series, which returns tonight for a third season, is the television equivalent of a trainwreck that I just can't bear to look away from, no matter how much the imagery (particularly Chad's gasp-inducing hairstyle) might hurt me. While the production values haven't improved at all this season (the on-screen kyrons still drive me up the wall as opposed to the slickness of the network's own Flipping Out), the drama has been amped up, partially due to the plunging housing market which sees our feuding trio--Chad, Josh, and Madison--attempting to keep their respective businesses afloat amid some increasingly uncertain times.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. And the first two episodes of Million Dollar Listing's third season find each of them faced with some mighty desperate circumstances. So when Chad is faced with a no-show for an open house on a ridiculously amazing place or the newly shorn Josh gets up on a conference room table in order to simulate the compromise necessary to reach a vital deal, the tension (and head-scratching stupidity) is palpable.

Once again, despite his slightly shady polymorphous status, Madison proves to be the most capable of the three and the one you'd want handling your real estate transaction. He's honest, he's dependable, he has an office and an assistant, and he seems to place most of his energies onto his business rather than petty rivalries. Well, yet, anyway.

Million Dollar Listing might not teach you anything about the housing market or real estate agenting, but if you're looking for a reality series to give you a belly-laugh or five, this is the home for you.

Season Three of Million Dollar Listing premieres tonight at 11 pm ET/PT on Bravo, before it relocates to its normal timeslot next week at 10 pm ET/PT.

"Lazy, Broke, Spicy": Cooking Family Style on "Top Chef"

It's funny how two weeks between episodes of Bravo's Top Chef can seem like an eternity.

So I was extremely chuffed that the culinary competition series returned last night with a brand-new episode ("Dinner Party") that put the chefs out of their comfort zone completely with not one but two challenges designed to see how well they adapted to circumstances outside their control.

A slot-machine-determined Quickfire gave the chefs three ideas to fuse together into one dish (in under thirty minutes, no less) while the Elimination Challenge found them struggle to prepare a family-style meal in their own kitchen.

In their house, that is, and not the Top Chef Kitchen. After all, these are chefs who are very used to working with an array of gadgets, gizmos, and appliances, not to mention counter space. Shoving them all into a home kitchen and telling them to pair up and create dishes for five well-respected chefs on Macy's Culinary Council seemed like a recipe for disaster.

So how did they do? Let's discuss.

Tyler Florence dropped by as this week's guest judge and his first order of business was to judge the high-stakes Quickfire Challenge, which this week had the chefs using a slot machine to determine three disparate words--a mood, a flavor, and a cuisine--to transform into a cohesive dish, much like the site Cookstr, a sponsor of the challenge, allows its users to search for recipes. Not an easy feat as some of the words were just plain odd ("stressed" for example) but I have to say that I was impressed overall but the results.

Here's what they made:
  • Ash (tired, tart, Italian): "pantry" puattanesca pasta
  • Ashley (blue, cheesy, Middle Eastern): sumac-crusted halibut with feta pudding
  • Bryan (adventurous, crispy, Asian): seared scallops with bok choy and tempura beads
  • Eli (stressed, umami, Latin): mushroom ceviche with avocado
  • Jennifer (adventurous, nutty, American): Maine scallops with pistachios and salmon roe
  • Kevin (stressed, hot n' spicy, Asian): char-grilled pork with daikon and Vietnamese herb salad
  • Laurine (tart, romantic, Latin): crusted goat cheese with orange vinaigrette and hibiscus flowers
  • Mike I. (stressed, umami, Asian): raw mushrooms sliced with yuzu emulsion
  • Michael V. (adventurous, tangy, Asian): yuzu curd, whipped greek yogurt, raspberries and seaweed cracker
  • Robin (stressed, umami, Middle Eastern): root vegetable hash with cumin and curry oil

As a group, I have to say that I was pleased with their performance here. Given Jennifer's illness, I was sad to see her land in the bottom three for the first time in the competition, but it was clear that she was working with some limitations in terms of clarity and execution due to her cold. Robin? Still don't understand how she's been able to stick around in the competition this long. The fact that she didn't understand that curry was Indian and not Middle Eastern was bad enough but then to argue with Indian-born Padma about it? Just plain foolhardy. Really shocking that she's still with us.

On the flip side, I thought that Kevin and Michael Voltaggio both did really well with the brief and turned out beautifully executed dishes that had very clear and concise visions; both looked as though they had taken hours to prepare rather than the brief half-hour they actually had. Well done to both. But ultimately, there can be only one Quickfire winner and the accolades went to Kevin for his beautiful Asian dish. Faced with the choice between immunity and $15,000, he wisely took the money and ran. There would have to be a major upset to see Kevin go home in the Elimination Challenge, after all...

Onto the Elimination Challenge, which had the chefs drawing knives to see who they would be paired up with for the challenge, which had them preparing a family-style dish from a mystery bag of ingredients selected by Macy's Culinary Council members Tyler Florence, Nancy Silverton, Govind Armstrong, Takashi Yagihashi, and Tom Douglas.

Bryan and Laurine prepared a halibut with a polenta cake, avocado mousse, and a sherry-chorizo vinaigrette with an herb salad. The plate offered not only pitch-perfect execution, but a divine balance of flavors and textures as well as inspiration in the form of that vinaigrette, the brainchild of Bryan. I was surprised to see how well these two worked together but it seems clear that Laurine took a backseat to Bryan on the task. After all, the dish just screams Bryan Voltaggio. (What didn't scream Bryan Voltaggio: his later blatant rudeness to Kevin, who was asking about his brother's dish. Wowzers, did that come out of nowhere.)

Kevin and Jennifer were the team to beat in this challenge and they didn't disappoint at all, turning out a gorgeously crafted dish of Kobe beef with tomato-cardamom broth, baby bok choy, and Asian pears, a sophisticated and elegant plate that sang thanks to that incredibly rich and sophisticated broth, which was made by Jennifer. Yes, I had a feeling that one of them would be walking out the winner of this challenge and I'm extremely happy that it was Jen, who reversed her fortune from the Quickfire Challenge to walk away the winner.

Mike I. and Robin should have been at each other's throats throughout the challenge as you couldn't have picked a worse pairing than the two of them. But Mike sort of just tuned out Robin's constant verbal diarrhea and took charge of the dish, despite his lack of experience with Asian food. Their dish, a marinated mushroom and pickled pear roll with seared tuna and scallop and a truffle ponzu, didn't blow me away (scallops and tuna, really?) but it certainly wasn't the worst thing on offer. No surprise that they ended up smack in the middle of the pack.

Eli and Ashley prepared grilled spot prawns with red beet sauce, creme fraiche gnocchi, and a brown butter-kale garnish. It was, to put it bluntly, a disaster from start to finish. The spot prawns were undercooked, the gnocchi completely oversalted and tough, and the whole dish an odd mix of ingredients and textures. Even if the food had been perfectly cooked, I am not sure that I like the idea of pairing prawns with gnocchi in the first place. Odd. Ashley was definitely to blame for the cooking of the prawns and even though she made the gnocchi, it was Eli who cooked them and way oversalted them (not to mention made them lose their lovely fluffy consistency). Hmmm...

And then there was Michael Voltaggio and Ash, who suffered a major setback when they lost electricity for their grill. Yes, these things do happen and Michael should have possibly been paying more attention to the fish (or Ash should have been rather than spending ten minutes setting the table outside) but I thought that the concept of the dish worked better than the judges did. They prepared a pancetta-wrapped halibut with an egg yolk ravioli, asparagus couli, and a fennel and asparagus salad. Due to the electrical issues, the halibut got rubbery and overcooked while the pancetta failed to crisp. I do think the egg yolk ravioli was a clever idea and could have worked but the failure to properly execute the fish landed this duo in the bottom.

Still, I would have been gobsmacked to see Michael Voltaggio get sent home for an electrical problem. No way would the judges have sent home one of the strongest competitors before cutting, say, Robin or Ash from the group first. I had a feeling he was safe but it was also, I imagine, a major wake-up call for Michael. This game is cutthroat and you are only as good as your last dish, so every dish ought to be better than perfect. Sadly, elimination fell on Ashley, who had shown some major improvement in the last few episodes. I'm sad to see her go, especially as I feel she is a stronger chef than Eli or some of the other remaining competitors.

What did you think of this week's episode? Should Ashley have been the one to pack her knives and go? What was up with Bryan verbally slamming Kevin? Was Ash attempting to compliment Bryan or gently throw him under the bus? Discuss.

Next week on Top Chef ("Pigs and Pinot"), the remaining chefs must create their version of Charlie Palmer's annual Pigs & Pinot event at his restaurant Aureole, hoping to perfectly pair their pork dishes with wine.

Channel Surfing: "Doctor Who" Unveils New Logo, Bravo Renews "Top Chef," Showtime Gets More "Californication," and More

Welcome to your Tuesday morning television briefing. I'm up in Vancouver, where I'll be visiting the sets for Syfy's series Caprica, Stargate Universe, and Sanctuary today.

The Eleventh Doctor has gotten a new logo. Doctor Who revealed its newest title logo, the series' eleventh, which features a play on the series' initials with the shape of the Doctor's TARDIS, which itself resembles a vintage police call box. "A new logo. The eleventh logo for the eleventh Doctor - those grand old words, Doctor Who, suddenly looking newer than ever," said inbound series head writer/executive producer Steven Moffat. "And look at that, something really new - an insignia! DW in TARDIS form! Simple and beautiful, and most important of all, a completely irresistible doodle. I apologise to school notebooks everywhere, because in 2010 that's what they're going to be wearing." The logo will be used on-screen in a new title sequence for Season Five of Doctor Who, with Matt Smith taking over the mantle of the Doctor from outbound series lead David Tennant next year. (via press release)

Bravo announced several renewals and series orders, including a seventh season of Top Chef. Casting on the Season Seven of Top Chef begins October 18th; no city has been announced yet, though the series will debut in 2010. The cabler also announced that it had ordered The Real Housewives of D.C. and renewed The Real Housewives of New Jersey for a second season. Also on tap: unscripted culinary series Chef Academy, which will follow Jean Christophe Novelli as moves to Los Angeles and creates a test program where he will train nine aspiring chefs. (Variety, Hollywood Reporter)

Showtime has ordered a fourth season of dark comedy Californication. News comes on the heels of strong ratings for the third season opener, which racked up a total of 1.2 million in its first two airings. Twelve episodes of Californication are on tap for next year. (Variety)

Fox21 has set up drama project Broken at FX. Written by Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air), the one-hour drama series is set in post-Katrina New Orleans and revolves around "investigative journalist for the New Orleans Gazette who is so frustrated by the breakdown of social and governmental institutions that he takes on a sideline pursuit as a vigilante." Turner will executive produce with Apartment 3B's Jennifer Klein. (Variety)

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is reporting that Desperate Housewives will feature a neighborhood plane crash during November sweeps. "It’s going to be my cliffhanger for the first half of the season," creator Marc Cherry told Ausiello about the catastrophe, which will "affect everyone’s lives" but won't lead to the death of any of the series' titular housewives. "I’d love to kill somebody ’cause that’s just what I do," he told Ausiello. "But the truth is, right now I don’t have anyone major dying." (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

Sony Pictures Television and executive producer Mark Burnett are shopping a reality competition series take on classic television series Fantasy Island, in which twelve contestants will compete to become the real Mr. (or Mrs.) Roarke of a tropic paradise by fulfilling the wishes of hotel guests. (Variety)

The Chicago Tribune's Maureen Ryan has compiled a list of television actors, writers, and directors who are on Twitter and has organized them by series. Head over there and take a look. (Chicago Tribune's The Watcher)

MTV is going ahead with plans to air invention series Gone Too Far, hosted by the late DJ AM. The cabler will launch the eight-episode series on October 12th at 10 pm ET/PT. (Variety)

CBS has renewed Canadian-produced drama series Flashpoint for a third season of thirteen episodes, which will air later this season. (Hollywood Reporter)

Looking to catch a glimpse of inbound Doctor's companion Karen Gillan before she steps into the TARDIS next year? UK viewers can check out Gillan in the four-part BBC Two drama The Well, about a set of siblings and their friends who "disturb something dark at the bottom of an ancient well," which kicks off this weekend. (Digital Spy)

Universal Networks International has signed on to co-produce Haven, the thirteen-episode series adaptation of Stephen King's novella "The Colorado Kid" that is being produced by E1 Entertainment. The Universal division has signed on to acquire exclusive pay TV rights in all territories excluding the US, Scandinavia, and Canada. (Variety)

ITV Studios has signed a creative partnership deal with toy manufacturer Mattel under which the studio will partner with Mattel to develop television, mobile, online, and other formats based around its best-selling brands. (Hollywood Reporter)

Stay tuned.

Channel Surfing: J.J. Abrams Back in Spy Game, Aylesworth Briefed for "Damages," FX Orders "Terriers," "Lights Out" to Series, and More

Welcome to your Thursday morning television briefing.

The Wrap's Josef Adalian is reporting that J.J. Abrams is returning to the spy business with a new potential series project with writer/executive producer Josh Reims (Felicity, Dirty Sexy Money) and executive producer Bryan Burk that is the subject of a heated bidding war with several broadcast networks including ABC, NBC, and CBS. The untitled project, from Warner Bros. Television and Bad Robot, follows a husband and wife who work as spies. According to Adalian, the script is described as a "fun romp" in the style of classic television spy adventures. (The Wrap)

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello is reporting that Reiko Aylesworth (24, Lost) has been cast in Season Three of FX's legal drama Damages in a recurring role. Details about who Aylesworth--who starred in the original pilot for ABC drama series The Forgotten--will be playing are being kept firmly under wraps. (Entertainment Weekly's Ausiello Files)

FX has given series orders to dramas Lights Out and Terriers, ordering thirteen episodes of each series. Fox21's Terriers, which stars Donal Logue as a former cop who launches an unlicensed private eye firm with his best friend (Michael Raymond-James), is set to debut in Summer 2010. It was created and will be executive produced by Ted Griffin and Shawn Ryan. Lights Out, from Fox Television Studios and FX Prods., stars Holt McCalleny as a former boxing champ who tries to support his wife and children. Series, from creator Justin Zackham, executive producer/showrunner Warren Leight, and executive producers Phillip Noyce and Ross Fineman, will launch in late 2010. That series will undergo some casting changes from the pilot episode, which had been tweaked by Leight. (Hollywood Reporter)

Rumors swirled yesterday that Comcast was in talks to acquire part or all of NBC Universal for $35 billion, but Comcast was quick to shoot down a report on The Wrap, saying that it was "inaccurate." (Editor: not untrue but inaccurate. Hmmm.) What is clear, however, is that the two companies are in talks of some kind as the deadline looms in the next few months for former Universal owner Vivendi to decide what to do with its remaining 20 percent ownership stake in the company, said to be in the neighborhood of $4 billion. Stay tuned on this one. (Broadcasting & Cable, Variety)

USA has given a cast-contingent pilot order to legal drama Facing Kate about a divorced lawyer in San Francisco who leaves her job as an attorney to become a mediator. Project, from Universal Cable Prods., is written by Michael Sardo, who will executive produce with Steve Stark and Russ Buchholz. (Hollywood Reporter)

E! Online's Megan Masters speaks with Modern Family star Ty Burrell about what's coming up on the ABC comedy series, including this little doozy: "Jay likes to fly model airplanes, so Phil goes out to fly [them] with him, and Jay gets fed up with Phil yacking on, so that goes sour." (E! Online's Watch with Kristin)

Bravo is developing three new series around some of its most memorable stars, including Real Housewives' Bethenny Frankel, Project Runway's Christian Siriano, and Top Chef's Fabio Viviani. Frankel's as-yet-untitled series, from Shed Media, will follow her as she looks for love and grows her business as a natural foods chef. Siriano's series will follow the flamboyant designer as he opens a shop and promotes his clothing line. Viviani will star in Fabio: A Catered Affair, which will follow him and his business parter Jacopo Falleni as they look to "expand their restaurant and catering business in Los Angeles." The latter two projects hail from Magical Elves. (Variety)

Guest stars aplenty for ABC's Ugly Betty. E! Online's Megan Masters is reporting that Christie Brinkley will join the cast of the dramedy this season as rival fashion editrix Penelope Graybridge while Shakira will guest star as herself in a November episode of Ugly Betty that finds the Mode staffers overseeing a photo shoot in the Bahamas. (E! Online's Watch with Kristin)

ABC Family has given pilot orders to two comedies. The first, an untitled multi-camera comedy starring Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence, will see the duo play a "a political dynasty wild child-turned-politician who takes in her teenage niece and pre-adolescent nephew when her sister goes to prison and her brother-in-law flees. She turns for help to Jack (Lawrence), who, desperate for a job, moves in and becomes the family's "manny.'" (Whew.) That project is from writers Bob Young and David Kendall, who will executive produce with Melissa Joan Hart, Paula Hart, and Joey Lawrence. The second greenlight went to an untitled single-camera comedy from writer/executive producer Michael Jacobs about a father who gets laid off from his architecture firm who "begins to mentor his underdog middle daughter, while his veterinarian wife shares a closer bond with their Type A older daughter." (Hollywood Reporter)

CBS Studios International has closed deals to bring several of its new series to the UK, with rights deals in place for NCIS: Los Angeles at Sky1 and The Good Wife and Accidentally on Purpose at Channel 4. Sky1 will launch NCIS: Los Angeles on October 21st while The Good Wife will bow on on More4 and Accidentally on Purpose on E4. (Broadcast, Variety)

R.J. Cutler's reality single Actual Reality has signed a co-production deal with Evolution Media under which Evolution will co-produce the nonscripted projects that the company has at MTV, Bravo, TruTV, and Sony Pictures Television and will have a first-look option at any new projects that Actual Reality develops. (Variety)

Stay tuned.

Battle Royale: Jeff Versus Ryan on "Flipping Out"

It had to happen, really.

The tension between Jeff Lewis and sometimes business partner Ryan Brown has been building all season long and things got more than a little heated on last night's episode of Bravo's addictive reality series Flipping Out ("Irreconcilable Differences"), in which Jeff confronted Ryan about his allegedly "shady" business dealings.

The confrontation, which went down in the final minutes of the episode, followed an hour where Jeff pulled some rather telling passive-aggressive maneuvers towards Ryan, disregarding his father's advice to cut the cord between the two but also not quite giving Ryan the opportunity to defend himself against Jeff's silent accusations.

Who is at fault? It's really difficult say. Obviously, Flipping Out follows Jeff Lewis around on a daily basis and not Ryan Brown, so it's easy to side with Jeff because it's his perspective that we're seeing here. But let's look at the supposed evidence.

So far, the most damning pieces of evidence against Ryan are those sponsored links to Brown Design on Google. Regardless of whether Ryan can say that he's just being a "smart businessman," there's something underhanded about sponsoring links to your design firm to pop up when people are searching for Jeff Lewis.

Is it smart? Sure, it's diabolically clever but it's also toeing a very narrow ethical line between acceptable and shady behavior because it's quite possibly--or probably--taking business away from Jeff. Ryan claimed that he doesn't say that it's not Jeff Lewis' office that callers have reached because it isn't. But people searching for Jeff Lewis who stumble onto the Brown Design site might call thinking the calls would get to Jeff. Or, assume so anyway, just as Ryan assumes that he needn't ask people who they are looking for.

And then there's Santa Barbara. Ryan is debating whether or not to move north and open up a second office as he's flooded with business from Santa Barbara, a fact that has Jeff very suspicious, coming on the heels as it does of the magazine layout featuring Jeff's house at Valley Oak... which contains barely any mention of Jeff's role in the design of the place.

The confrontation itself was painful to watch. Jeff might talk a big talk about being tough as nails but the guy is sensitive underneath his hard exterior and it was clear to see just how much hurt and anguish he was experiencing bringing up these difficult topics. Old wounds hurt the most, after all.

It's impossible to say right now who is telling the truth. Ryan makes a point about Jeff cutting him out of his life altogether if he doesn't believe him, which I think he meant as a sincere expression of his honesty and loyalty but which Jeff interprets as a sign of guilt. As for how they left things, it's not good, to be honest. Ryan storms out of the house, Jeff is tearing up and this friendship and business partnership may have been ripped asunder forever. Trust is, after all, a very fluid, funny thing. Once it's gone, all bets are off.

Whose side are you on in this conflict? Is Jeff right to be suspicious about Ryan or is he just being paranoid? Discuss.

Next week on Flipping Out ("Pledging Allegiance"), Jeff faces setbacks with his Buena Park contractor while Ryan makes commitments.

Flipping Out Preview: Money In, More Money Out:



Flipping Out Preview: Jenni's Alter-Ego:



Flipping Out Preview: In Bed with Vlad:

Red Scarves and Legerdemain: The Magic of Deconstruction on "Top Chef"

It's funny how camaraderie can evaporate the minute someone feels one of their number doesn't deserve to win.

On this week's episode of Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Penn and Teller"), the chefs seemed to offer a unified front, even going so far as to honor the memory of their fallen compere Mattin by donning his trademark red scarves (just how many did he pack?) in the Top Chef kitchen. It was a touching testament to how much of an emotional impact Mattin had on the chefs (even if not in a culinary sense) but that sense of community was quickly shattered by the results of the Quickfire Challenge this week.

Now I've long felt that there have been several chefs still in the competition at this point who should have packed their knives a long time ago. Perhaps it's the fact that there seem to be four incredibly talented chefs gunning for the final four (that would be Kevin, Jennifer, and the Voltaggio brothers) but the majority of the other contestants haven't made much of a mark thus far. That said, there are some who I'm shocked to watch squeak past elimination time and time again. And clearly, the chefs feel the same way I do.

This week the chefs had to prepare a duo for their Quickfire Challenge and then serve a deconstructed classic to magicians Penn and Teller for their Elimination Challenge. Just how did the chefs do? Let's discuss.

For this week's Quickfire Challenge, the judges would be critiqued by tough-to-please Michelle Bernstein; they had an hour to create a preparation of duos that would best signify the angels and devils sitting on their individual shoulders. I was impressed that the producers gave them an hour to prepare; granted there were two dishes involved but many of these chefs have been able to pull that off in roughly 30 minutes. So I had a feeling that they wanted the chefs to really pull out all of the stops in this challenge and really wow Padma and Michelle.

Here's what they prepared:
  • Ashley: scallop crudo and scallop puttanesca
  • Ash: spicy asparagus custard with cornbread (he was unable to complete his coffee custard)
  • Bryan: frozen coconut lychee and dark chocolate mousse
  • Eli: scallop with radish and greens and scallop with risotto and butter
  • Jennifer: simple scallop with olive oil and scallop with butter sauce
  • Kevin: halibut with seasonal vegetables crushed deviled eggs and bacon
  • Laurine: chicken consomme and vegetables and chicken saltimbocca
  • Mike I.: cucumber yogurt soup and rack of lamb kabob-style over couscous
  • Michael V: rillete of salmon and sopa and confit salmon and ice cream
  • Robin: raw salad of apple and fennel and cardamom ginger crisp
  • Ron: Chilean sea bass with carrots and yucca and corn mash

Some interesting dishes there (Michelle seemed to love Jennifer's butter sauce but didn't single her out for acknowledgment) and some truly awful ones (Ash's gooey custard). But I have to say that I was stunned that Robin walked away with immunity... for making a salad and a fruit crisp. Yes, they may have been great offerings but this is Top Chef and people have been sent home for making a salad in the past.

Given that Robin's performance to date has been so terribly underwhelming, I was really hoping that this would be the week that she'd be sent packing but no dice. I, like the chefs, have to question whether her reveal that she had cancer played a role in establishing some sympathy in Michelle's mind. Whether it was done consciously or not, it was a manipulative thing to say and Robin didn't offer it up as a vague aside but rather as a specific part of the angel/devil scenario; she was also way too specific ("two kinds of lymphoma") rather than even just stating that she had cancer.

I can understand why the chefs were so perturbed by her win but Robin later added insult to injury in the Elimination when she chattered on endlessly about her dish and what she was doing and then, despite having immunity, had the nerve to ASK LAURINE FOR HELP. That to me was crossing a line that shouldn't have been crossed. If she's that oblivious to the irritation she's engendering in everyone around her, she should at least have the common sense to just do her own thing and get it done on her own as she doesn't have the threat of elimination hanging over her head. Mind-boggling, really.

Moving on... The Elimination Challenge this week was to take a classic dish--randomly selected by drawing knives--and deconstruct it. Which seemed simple enough but several of the cheftestants had difficulty understanding just what deconstruction meant in the first place. Modern chefs love to deconstruct dishes; it's the process of breaking down the overall flavors of a dish into separate elements, which when combined back together approximate the flavor of the original. Unlike classical cuisine, it's a post-modern technique and it has its adherents and its detractors. Personally, I think if done correctly, it's a mind-blowing experience that shows some real intelligence and creativity on the part of the chef and requires an exacting execution in order to pull it off properly.

Ash had shepherd's pie and offered a pan-roasted pork chop with braised leeks, glazed carrots, pea puree and a Madiera jus. I was baffled by this dish. I love shepherd's pie and I didn't feel like he approximated any of the flavors of the classic English comfort food dish in the least. Yes, he had planned to serve a potato and parsnip puree (it turned out "gummy") but I don't think that would have helped matters. His lamb was not evenly cooked, the tomato just looked unappetizing and he missed the boat completely here. Not a surprise that he landed in the bottom.

Ashley, on the other hand, has won me over in the last two episodes for some well-executed dishes. Here, she drew pot roast and created a dish of seared strip loin, potato puree, crispy shallots, and carrot foam. She understood deconstruction and nailed the flavors of pot roast while creating something innovative and beautiful on the plate. Well done.

Bryan landed pastrami reuben and created a dish of tuna pastrami, warm mayonnaise, shallots, rye, gruyere, and fried capers. Eli deconstructed sweet and sour pork and created a dish of tempura pork rillettes with broccoli puree, sweet and sour sauce, and celery salad.

Laurine tried to approximate fish and chips but her dish--poached halibut with malt sabayon, tartar sauce and tomato confit, with ginger and garlic--didn't really capture the dish at all. Plus, her fish was overcooked and the inclusion of two potato chips didn't capture the "chips" element at all. Mike's Eggs Florentine, likewise, didn't do the trick either. He offered up a braised kale roll, egg emulsion, mornay sauce, and crispy phyllo but it was completely unimpressive.

Was there anything positive said about Robin's clam and fennel flan, braised celery slaw, pancetta crisp, and crushed bacon? I don't think so. I do wonder if she would have been sent home for this ghastly dish if she didn't have immunity from the Quickfire Challenge. But it was really Ron, another underwhelming chef, whose dish was truly the worst of the week. His "deconstructed" paella was a messy, soggy, overcooked mound of food that didn't quite seem to offer the requisite deconstruction or even a well-executed paella to boot. Ron has managed to avoid elimination far too many times and I just knew that this would be the dish to send him home.

I'll admit that I was worried about Jennifer this week. Deconstruction is not her thing and when she landed meat lasagna, I was concerned as I can't imagine her really making a meat lasagna in regular circumstances, much less deconstructing one here. But once again Jennifer has blown me away with her creativity and skill, offering up a dish of flat iron steak, mascarpone bechemel, tomato sauce, and parmesan crisp that perfectly captured the essence of meat lasagna, from the richness of the beef, the acidic sweetness of the tomato and the slightly burnt quality of the melted cheese on top of a lasagna. A thing of beauty, really.

I knew that Michael Voltaggio would rock this challenge, even when he landed something as innocuous as Caesar salad. Proving that he sees every challenge as a possibility, he baked his own brioche and used some molecular gastronomy techniques with his incredible dish of chicken wing, parmesan gel, romaine leaves, dressing spherification, egg emulsion, and brioche. I was a fan of Michael's from his days at The Bazaar at the SLS here in Los Angeles and I'm curious to check him out at the Langham Dining Room to see just what other magic he has up his sleeve these days.

Drawing chicken mole negro, Kevin was concerned after last week's mole didn't land him a spot in the top but he needn't have worried at all. His dish, a baked chicken and chicken croquetta with Mexican coffee, chili flakes, and pumpkin and fig jam, was a master class in deconstruction. He understood the flavor components and utilized them in creative and intriguing ways to offer up something that was essentially chicken mole negro but broken down into separate and delicious pieces.

I had a feeling that he would walk away the ultimate winner here and I'm glad to see that he didn't disappoint. Longtime readers will remember that I called Kevin and Jennifer as the two chefs to watch this season from the first episode. And I truly believe that the two of them and the Voltaggio brothers would make the ideal final four this season. Fingers crossed...

What did you think of this week's episode? Should Ron have packed his knives or should it have been Ash? Would Robin have ended up in the bottom if she didn't have immunity? And what did you make of her admission during the Quickfire Challenge? Discuss.

Next week on Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Dinner Party"), the remaining contestants cater a dinner for the chefs in the Macy's Culinary Council, but first they must make it through the Quickfire Challenge, where Lady Luck again holds all the cards... or in this case, reels.

Top Chef Preview: Playing the Slots:



Top Chef Preview: Mike Is Not Pleased:

Hitch Your Wagon to a Star: Camping and the Great Outdoors on "Top Chef: Las Vegas"

I'm not exactly a fan of camping.

So I can only imagine how I would have fared had I been thrown into the challenge facing the cheftestants on this week's episode of Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Camping"), where they were tasked with creating a high-end lunch for twenty-four diners under some rather adverse conditions.

Namely: outside in the heat over open flames.

Some chefs attempted to take the easy route and make ceviche, incorrectly thinking that the acid-cured fish would be just the thing to cool down some cowboys on the ranch after a long morning. Not quite. Others realized that they needed to stick to their own flavor profiles and aesthetics and offer up dishes that could work in white-tablecloth restaurants but that could be tweaked slightly for the ranch.

So how did the chefs perform this week? Let's discuss.

Former Top Chef Masters contestant Tim Love was on hand this week as guest judge and he presided over a Quickfire Challenge that stymied many of the contestants. Given forty-five minutes, they were told to prepare a dish using cactus, an ingredient which most of them hadn't worked with prior to this challenge. Suffice it say, cactus is not a forgiving ingredients: it's prickly and slimy and special care needs to be paid to how it's prepared for that reason.

Surprisingly, the top spots went to some rather unexpected contenders this week, with Laurine, Mike I., and Mattin ending up with the top three dishes. Laurine cooked a glazed pork chop with cactus salsa, Mattin offered up a breaded cactus, with halibut, red cabbage puree, and tequila-pickled cactus, and Mike I. delivered a dish of cactus and tuna ceviche. What did all three have in common? They all played up the cactus as the main star of the dish rather than just one of an assortment of components on the plate. And, frustratingly, Mike I. took away the win for this high-stakes Quickfire Challenge, landing himself $15,000 and an even more inflated ego.

But if the chefs thought that they would be leaving the outdoors as it were behind for the Elimination Challenge, they had another thing coming as they'd be camping out overnight and then cooking outside the following day with limited cooking equipment and open flames.

Some of the chefs really rose to the occasion this week. Perhaps gaining more confidence, Ashley turned out her best dish so far, a seared halibut with avocado mousse, bacon, and braised romaine, which was meant to mimic the flavors of a BLT. It was a conceptual dish that Ashley made sing, winning over the diners and the judges alike. I'm not sure why Ashley has tended toward the bottom of the pack (nerves perhaps?) as she often has some inventive and unique ideas (cactus doughnuts, anyone?) and needs to push herself more often.

Bryan took the brief to heart and created a stunning dish that not only looked as though it were prepared in a restaurant but could have been served at a fine dining establishment, serving a roasted pork loin with corn polenta, dandelion greens, and glazed rutabega. How he managed to turn out such a gorgeous and confident dish in the middle of the desert (and took that pork so perfectly) remains a mystery to me. No shock at all that he took home the win here for his confident, upscale dish. Well done.

Laurine once again surprised by landing in the top four this round; she's been such a non-entity (and really should have been sent home for that awful pasta salad two weeks ago) that it's surprising to suddenly see praise being given to her now. Could it be that she's realized what she needs to do in order to stand out and deliver some good dishes? Perhaps. Here, she cooked up a sauteed arctic char with tomatillo salsa and grilled potato that perfectly captured the smoke of the grill and was appropriate rancher fare, if not as complex or stunning as some of the dishes her competitors offered. Sometimes, folks, simple is not bad...

Finally, Michael Voltaggio went in a completely different direction as everyone else and served a dashi with miso-cured black cod, watermelon, and shittakes, a stunning dish that inverted the concept of ranch food and was a stunning display of technique, texture, and sophisticated vision.

Sadly, the same can't be said for the bottom three contestants. Robin shocked the judges with the lousiness of her dish, grilled romaine salad with drunken prawns and spicy chicken sausage, a jumble of ideas and lackluster execution that had one judge describe the taste of her shrimp as "chlorine." (Ouch.) Ron offered a sweet coconut-lime tuna ceviche served in a coconut shell with a Haitian mojito; while the judges didn't mind the ceviche, they were adamant that the mojito was just plain awful.

And then there was Mattin. The Basque chef really hasn't impressed me too much over the past five episodes and it was hardly a shocker that he landed in the bottom three for his trio of ceviche: salmon with apple, spicy tuna, and cod with corn. The cod was so raw and just so inedible that Tom actually spit it out for fear of getting sick from warm, uncooked fish. What was shocking, however, was that Mattin said he had tasted the three ceviches and liked them. There is something to be said for taste, but it's another thing altogether to taste something vile as a chef and say that it's good and that you are proud of your dish. (That Mattin thought it was a winning dish was a head-scratcher if there was ever one.)

Ultimately, the ceviche spelled curtains for Mattin, who was told to pack his knives and go. I really wasn't sure in the end if it would be Mattin or Robin who would get the boot and I have to say that I've yet to be won over by either of them or Ron.

What did you think of this week's episode? Would you have sent Mattin home? Discuss.

Next week on Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Penn & Teller"), the chefs must work their own magic when asked to deconstruct a vintage recipe and re-imagine its components into signature dishes for magicians Penn and Teller.

"This Isn't 'Melrose Place'": Poison, High Heels, and Take Charge Attitude on "Flipping Out"

Is it just me or does Jenni Pulos kick some serious butt?

Jeff Lewis' oft put-upon assistant Jenni doesn't really get the credit she deserves from her meticulous employer, who is far more likely to criticize her endlessly for the slightest error than to praise her for all of the hard work she actually does. That is, when he's not hitting her in the face with a mobile phone headset or dredging up some painful memories of her shifty ex-husband at the drop of a hat.

However, this week's episode of Bravo's addictive reality series Flipping Out ("Jenni 911") had Jenni stepping in to Jeff's shoes for a day (more on that in a bit), allowing both she and Jeff to have a new appreciation for the work that the other does. Could it be that a change in their relationship is on the horizon? Knowing Jeff, probably not. But it's still pretty nice that he recognized Jenni's effort and ability.

The main issue this week on Flipping Out was of course Jeff's alleged poisoning at the hand of Zoila, who did appear to have unwittingly given Jeff food poisoning by feeding him bacon that was, well, several months old. The stomach-churning interlude ended up leaving Jeff doubled over in pain and necessitated him taking a rare day off from work. A day that he spent accusing Zoila in no uncertain terms of trying to kill him with past-their-date pork products.

I honestly believe that Jeff thought that the entire office would grind to a halt with him out of commission, especially given his earlier bad-mouthing of Jenni to new assistant Sarah, a very awkward and uncomfortable conversation that was so completely inappropriate, not to mention just plain myopic.

Fortunately, Jeff does have an ace up his sleeve and he needs to realize that it's Jenni herself. Donning some serious black-rimmed glasses and a head-to-toe black ensemble, Jenni effortlessly stepped into Jeff's shoes, delegating responsibilities to the staff (including little-seen design intern Trace) and heading out to the job sites to keep an eye on the firm's current projects. The way that she dealt with confused contractor Vlad and confronted their newest client about cash (and shut down the job site altogether when it was clear that they weren't going to get paid) proved that she's absorbed a hell of a lot of knowledge and confidence from Jeff and that she can not only get the job done but do it well.

I hope that Jeff watched last night's episode and saw how well that Jenni performed under an immense amount of pressure and that she represented him professionally and authoritatively on the job sites. I understand that he's frustrated with Jenni's situation right now (and probably feels a little sting that she's concentrating more on acting than on his business) and with his financial situation as a whole but he does have a tendency to take things out on Jenni rather than on recognizing her potential, loyalty, and capability.

Jeff should have promoted Jenni a long time ago. And maybe with the addition of new assistant Sarah, he can train someone to become his new right-hand woman. But the fact remains that Jenni has put in seven and a half years of hard work without much reward and Jeff Lewis' office runs smoothly because of her.

For his part, I was impressed that Jeff did compliment Jenni on how well she did and offer her some uncharacteristic praise for her performance at the end of the day. The look of pride (mixed with a little shock, I'm sure) on Jenni's face spoke volumes about their relationship.

Speaking of relationships, next week's episode looks to continue to find cracks in the partnership between Jeff and Ryan, who's been somewhat conspicuously absent from much of the action this season. And likely adding to the stress Jeff is experiencing is the disappearance of his newest client, after he offered to front her the $25,000 necessary to complete the renovation job.

Not good. Not good at all.

Next week on Flipping Out ("Friend or Foe"), Jeff turns to his father for advice after he learns some disturbing information about Ryan.

Flipping Out Preview: Answering Jeff's Prayers:



Flipping Out Preview: Lewd and Obscene:



Flipping Out Preview: No More Energy to Yell:

Snail's Pace and Amuse Bouches: It's All En Francais on This Week's "Top Chef"

Classical French culinary training is painstakingly rigorous, but surely all of the chefs among the pack of remaining contestants on Top Chef should have been able to pull off this week's challenge without a hitch, right?

Not quite. I've already raved about this week's episode of Top Chef: Las Vegas (you can read my advance review here), which featured a veritable who's who among French chefs, including chef of the century Joel Robuchon, Daniel Boulud, Hubert Keller, Laurent Tourondel, and Jean Joho. Not exactly small fry.

This week's episode ("Vivre Las Vegas") challenged the cheftestants to work in the classical French style, using traditional ingredients such as escargot, rabbit, and frog legs and deliver dishes to the awe-inspiring master chefs assembled to sample their work. In other words: it was make it or break it time for these chefs.

So how did the contestants perform this week? Let's discuss.

The High-Stakes Quickfire Challenge this week was absolutely fantastic, challenging the chefs to prepare a dish of escargot in an inventive way for guest judge Daniel Boulud, who was clearly looking to be dazzled. Escargot is tricky at any time, much less under the pressure and scrutiny of a Quickfire, where most of the chefs hadn't ever worked with snails before. And there was the threat of elimination hanging over their heads as well.

Several of them rose to the challenge at hand, turning out remarkably well-executed and flavorful dishes that not only showcased the escargot itself but also their abilities and vision. Kevin's dish of escargot fricassee with mushrooms, Brussels sprouts, and candied bacon jam was the perfect encapulation of the challenge, fusing together the traditional and continental with the modern and down-home Southern. No surprise that he should walk away the winner, with immunity and the chance to have dinner with the aforementioned master French chefs.

Jennifer once again dazzled with her dish, escargot with brown butter sauce, grilled ramps, Brussels sprouts, chanterelles, and yuzu, cutting through the earthy headiness of snails and Brussels sprouts with the light acid of the yuzu. And Mike I. surprised with his well-executed dish, sauteed escargot over potato-garlic puree, spring onion and ouzo broth, topped with Meyer lemon and fava beans, an ode to Crete in a bowl.

But not everyone was as successful, with the bottom three comprised of Jesse, Robin, and Ashley who landed their for their "ELT," play on bagel and lox, and escargot mirepoix soup respectively. This being a high-stakes Quickfire Challenge, they were stunned to learn that one of them would be going home. But not quite yet... The trio would square off in a sudden death cook-off where they had twenty minutes to prepare an amuse bouche. In other words: their future in this competition came down to a single bite.

Jesse offered a tuna tartare with sorrel, gooseberries, and a fried quail egg atop a piece of fried bread. Robin served an avocado soup with yuzu, green apple, whole-grain mustard relish, and Peekytoe crab. Ashley composed a dish of foie gras with caramelized pineapple, tarragon, and ramps.

So who would go home? Ultimately, it was Jesse who packed her knives. I can't say that I'm surprised. She's had a hard time with the pressure and time constraints of the competition and she's frequently derailed her own dishes with one small misstep time and time again, whether it was too much cayenne in the soup or and underseasoning of the tartare here.

Elimination Challenge time. The chefs, other than Kevin who wouldn't be competing, drew knives to reveal the names of traditional French proteins and sauces. Pairing up, they'd present a six-course meal for the judges and the dream team of Robuchon, Boulud, Keller, Tourondel, and Joho.

So what did they prepare? Let's break it down by course and pair:
  • Robin and Ron: frog legs meuniere with lemon confit, mache and arugula salad with fried capers
  • Bryan and Mike I.: warm cured trout with deconstructed bernaise with pickled shallots, raw egg yolk, tarragon puree, and fennel pollen
  • Eli and Laurine: lobster, sauce américaine, cauliflower puree, and raw cauliflower garnish
  • Ashley and Mattin: seared poussin and ravioli with sauce velouté and green asparagus
  • Michael V. and Jen: rabbit chasseur with mustard noodle and shiso
  • Hector and Ash: chateaubriand, sauce au poivre with confit de pommes and spinach

All in all, I do say that I was impressed overall, considering most of the chefs are not classically trained but there were two dishes that towered over the rest. (I would have loved, meanwhile, to have seen what Kevin would have done with this challenge. Judging from his expression at the dining table, I dare say he would have as well.) Not surprisingly, Jen and the brothers fared well in this challenge, delivering the top two dishes, both of which majorly impressed the judges.

Bryan took the lead on his team, expertly filleting and then reconstructing the trout to create a boneless cylinder, and he came up with the notion of the deconstructed bernaise sauce, educating Mike I. (who once again took a back seat on a challenge) on how to pull off the complexity and depth of flavor necessary. It was a gorgeous dish as was the rabbit chasseur of Jen and Bryan, meticulously cooked and elegantly served, it showed vision and maturity, fusing together the spirit of the traditional dish with a modern, Eastern approach. I loved seeing the two of them working so closely together and thought that they were a fantastic team. But ultimately, the win went to Bryan, who also received the privilege of being able to stage at Robuchon's restaurant in Vegas, a rare accomplishment.

While some of the other dishes were less successful, two were actually disastrous. Hector and Ash's chateaubriand was undone by undercooked meat, inexpert carving, and a lack of au poivre sauce on the plate. Even if Ash had been able to to expertly master the sauce au poivre, it couldn't have masked the disappointing quality of the beef on the plate.

And then there were Ashley and Mattin. If anyone should have walked through this challenge blindfolded it was Mattin working within his metier, but the Frenchman failed to produce a quality velouté, rendering it more like gravy than a true velouté (which should be velvety, hence the name) and overwhelming the taste of the poussin with way too much bacon. Ashley's ravioli was too thick and dry, the asparagus disconnected from the rest of the dish. (Though I do remember her suggesting an asparagus velouté and getting shot down by Mattin.)

But I knew that despite their failings, it would be Hector who would be sent home. Which is a shame as I think Hector had some good ideas and could cook better than some of the contestants that are still in the competition.

What did you think of this week's episode? Would you have awarded the win to Bryan or to Jen and Michael? And would you have send Jesse and Hector packing? Discuss.

Next week on Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Camping"), the remaining contestants must cook with cactus, sleep under the stars, and prepare a menu for Las Vegas cowboys; chef Tim Love serves as a guest judge.

Vive La France: An Advance Review of Tonight's "Top Chef: Las Vegas"

Are you obsessed with Top Chef? Do you know your salpicon from your brunoise? Not freaked out by preparing velouté or escargot? You're in luck.

This season's chefs are as always a motley bunch but there have emerged several major contenders for the title of Top Chef this season and, despite it being only the fourth episode of the season, we're seeing some major culinary skills at play in the Top Chef kitchen in a fashion that's usually reserved for the final rounds.

I had the chance last week to watch tonight's outstanding episode of Top Chef: Las Vegas ("Vivre Las Vegas") and I have to say that not only is the best episode of the season so far but it will go down as one of my favorite episodes of the entire series to date.

Not only are many of the chefs working at the top of their game, delivering some inspired and inspiring dishes, but the master chefs who the producers have assembled to judge this particular challenge is awe-inspiring. In the past, such boldface culinary names such as Joel Robuchon, Daniel Boulud, Hubert Keller, Laurent Tourondel, and Jean Joho might have dropped by to guest judge the final round of the competition. But here, they're appearing in the fourth episode. Which should tell you something about the overall caliber of chefs competing this season.

It's not every day that you can see Joel Robuchon, Daniel Boulud, Hubert Keller, and Jean Joho sitting together at a table, much less weighing in on dishes prepared on the fly by Top Chef contestants, particularly when the chefs are tasked with preparing classical French dishes. While I can only imagine the honor experienced by the contestants, there's something gratifying and exhilarating about just being a fly on the wall for this challenge. The producers should be very proud about this installment, which not only entertains, but educates and inspires as well.

Are these French masters impressed with the performances of our cheftestants? Well, that would be telling. But suffice it to say that under some extraordinary pressure--and the opportunity of a lifetime--some of the chefs rise to the occasion and others... Well, others not so much. Just who falls into either category may surprise you, however.

And much will be made of the producers' decision to send not one but two chefs packing in this marvelous and memorable episode. One cheftestant will be cut before the Elimination Challenge and the determining factor will have many people shocked. Yes, the stakes are certainly high this season and the Vegas setting is enabling the producers to introduce an element of chance and surprise in a way that hasn't been done before. Yes, it was inevitable that an extra person would be cut (seasons with seventeen contestants usually cut two at the start) but the way in which it's handled is fantastic drama.

All in all, tonight's episode is custom-made for fans of Top Chef, francophiles, and lovers of classic gastronomy with a twist. As for the contestants competing under such scrutiny, you'll want to wish them bonne chance. It's one of the toughest challenges to date... and not everyone will make it through to the next round.

Top Chef: Las Vegas Sneek Peak -- Gotta Be Really Effin' Hungry:



Top Chef: Las Vegas Sneek Peak -- Joel Robuchon in the Flesh:



Top Chef: Las Vegas airs tonight at 10 pm ET/PT on Bravo.

Spilled Coffee and Bad Mojo: Scandal on "Flipping Out"

Oh, Jeff. You never learn, do you?

This week's episode of Flipping Out ("Bad Mojo") had Jeff Lewis attempting to find a replacement for Rachel after she quit unexpectedly in last week's installment. But rather than stick to his guns and interview multiple candidates, check out references, and, you know, actually look at people's resumes, Jeff ends up hiring a random guy, Shawn.

Which would be fine if the duo hadn't hit it off over Shawn's story about his stint in prison for drag racing in a high-speed car chase with highway patrolmen and the police.

Could it be that Jeff's hiring ethos isn't quite all that it's cracked up to be and that he has a tendency to act on emotion and impulse rather than logic? You think?

And yet when faced with the same dilemma of having to replace an employee, Jeff does the unthinkable yet again and hires Carrie's sister as his newest assistant, thus again creating an uncomfortable situation in which he's mixing business with pleasure (and soon to be family as well) and hiring not the right person for the job, but the person who's right there at the moment. Oh, Jeffrey...

I knew right away that Shawn would be trouble for Jeff Lewis' office. He seemed almost too eager to please, was way too flirty with everyone from Jenni and Zoila to celebrity hairstylist/client Chaz. Which made me think that he had an angle of some kind. I don't think it was quite what Jeff thought (that Shawn was out to get some sort of job from Chaz) but something less concrete and defined. He appeared to be looking to leverage his employment with Jeff Lewis into a new life and move into the orbit of some powerful and moneyed individuals. Why else go into the salon and try to get invited to Chaz's house for some yoga? A bit odd, no?

It's a shame as Shawn did seem genuinely surprised when Jeff sacked him for his scandalous offense, despite protesting that his conversation with Chaz was absolutely innocuous. (It's slightly unclear to me why he would say he was talking about getting his hair done there--still an odd conversation to have with a client--rather than what Jenni overheard him saying.) I thought it was extremely generous of Jeff not only to cut a check for the hours that Shawn had worked but to also throw in an extra $500 to tide him over for the next week or so.

What motivated Shawn to refuse to accept the money that Jeff gave him? Was it, as Shawn said, pride? Or was it motivated by guilt? Should we give people the benefit of the doubt? Or do we need to be more suspicious and check people out before we hire them?

I hope it's a lesson that Jeff has learned now. Given the specter of Chris Elwood still hovers over his office, one would have thought that Jeff would have become a more stringent employer in terms of hiring, requiring a detailed CV, multiple references, and experience. After all, there's more to being a project manager than just checking things off of a list and Jeff had discussed with Jenni ahead of time that he wanted to interview several people for the position.

Jenni is a saint at the end of the day. How she's put up with Jeff, as funny as he is, for seven and a half years is a mystery to me. The fact that he so casually whacked her in the face with his headset in the car was shocking to me. He did eventually apologize but it took five minutes of him needling her about why the cord was tangled before he realized that he owed her one. I do hope that his experiences with Shawn now show Jeff just how loyal and patient Jenni is and that she deserves some sort of promotion or at least recognition for the role she's played in his business.

Whether the business will thrive under the (not-so) watchful eye of newest assistant Sarah Berkman remains to be seen.

But from Sarah's hysterical introduction--and her spilling the entire contents of a large cappuccino all over Jeff's car and Jeff himself, it doesn't bode well. I get that Jeff is altruistic when it comes to his friends and enjoys helping people out when they can't find work but he also needs to learn that he needs to be as smart and strict with his hiring policies as he with everything else in his life.

At least she remembered the two Splendas...

Next week on Flipping Out ("Jenni 911"), a big deal in Bel Air is complicated by a lack of funds; Jeff falls ill and accuses Zoila of poisoning him; Jenni is put in charge of the Buena Park project.

Flipping Out Preview: Zoila Poisons Jeff